A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, I just want to know if this is right.Ok my dad passed away like 6 months ago, and I don't have no parents with me, I live with a guardian. I receive social security every month, i get $400 a month, and my guardian gives me $100 out of the money. I'm in 12th grade at school, i don't have a job because she told me not to and that i get $100 a month, she said thats enough. I take 1 college class for nursing. So I need like 4 books and they are really expensive, I bought 1 already with $100 she gave me, and I just found out the other book just one of them is $44, I really need the book but I don't have the money, and I don't want to fail because I want to be able to work when I get out of high school. I can't ask my guardian because she gave me that $100 for the stuff I need. I don't know what to do, what do you think I should do? Thanks
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 @ anon female reader who is a nurse : please don't get me wrong, I am big on education too. In fact, I think that, after health, getting an education is probably the second most precious thing in life and most helpful and useful- and this whether you can make good money through it , or not so good. It's a value in itself, not only a tool for improving one's financial condition, and I would never discourage from studying anybody who has the desire to do so.
But... this works assuming there's somebody able to pay for the education, either the student himself, or his/her parents, or the State, or the school ( through grants )...
Unluckily, our OP's situation is different and if the guardian is not willing to step up to the plate and help the OP reach her goal, I think there's no legal way that she can be coerced to do it, and that might ( but not necessarily of course ) mean that the OP has to put nursing on the back burner for a while .
Not necessarily, because, when there's a will there's a way, and all the advices you and other Aunts gave the OP may work. It just takes some ingenuity, some initiative .
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Cindy you are correct BUT because the OP posted about the 35k when she turns 18, I'm sensing that
a. the guardian is not doing this out of love but necessity and feels the income from the SSA Survivors benefits are her salary. THEY ARE NOT. (remember folks I WORK for the agency) While the survivors benefits are for the child's care they are not intended to be the full cost.. SS never was intended to be a full supplemental package for retirement, disability or survivors...
b. that the OP is slightly afraid of or feels beholden to the guardian... I sense there is a power play or an issue about this person being the guardian....
c. if she used her "spending money" for one book and has not even asked the guardian for $44 dollars for a book for school, why can't she ask?
there is more here going on that we are reading...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): Okay I don't understand whether the guardian is suppose to be pocketing the other $300 or not.
However, I'm proud of you! You're a smart girl for taking extra classes outside of grade 12 classes & for them being in nursing.
I am a nurse, graduated from university at 21 (now I'm 30) and can say that it's the quickest route to independence and financial stability. At 21 I was making $25.46 an hour, was able to live independently away from my abusive parents. By 25 I moved to the states for a nursing job that paid $40 an hour and left my abusive boyfriend behind in Canada! I never looked back. A year later I saved $24,000 (living on the cheap, no car, rented a bedroom from someone) and moved to Europe to do my Masters. I came back to San Francisco after the masters for a nursing job that paid $54 an hour. With wage increases 3 years later, I'm at $61.46, married to a kind and loving man, financially independent and moving forward.
Nursing was my out from a bad family/boyfriend/life situation. I'm proud that you are so smart to take that path also.
I put myself through nursing school also by working 10 hours per week (starbucks and later university library), scholarships and student loans. Someone here mentioned that you have a trust fund? Look after every penny of that money! Use it for when you are in nursing school to help towards tuition and housing while you are studying. You'll make that money back quickly as a nurse. Especially in California.
With all due respect, I disagree with CindyCares. School is #1 priority in your life right now. It's your way out to security and independence. Especially since you don't have a parent to go back home to. You take that class no matter what. Teachers are used to money strapped students not having books. I was in such a situation many times. These are things I did, that you can do too:
1. Share a book with another student. Pay them for half the book & photocopy all the readings you need to do.
2. Go to the school library. They usually have copies of textbooks in use that semester. Photocopy it.
3. Tell your teacher. They usually have 2/3 copies lying around.
4. Explain your lack of funds to your teacher - She/He can let you photocopy the readings you need from their book.
Hope this helps!! You're a strong and wise girl! All the best. Work hard and it'll pay off later.
hug!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (2 October 2012):
 That's a good point, Cindy, about it being an optional class. While I don't consider school books extras in the way that nail polish or designer jeans are extras, they aren't necessities the way food and shelter is.
If this is the worst izzygurl can say about her guardian then the woman can't be all that bad.
However there is the part time job. Either the woman doesn't want her working at all or she doesn't want her working in certain places she considers unsafe or unsuitable.
Izzy, if you have a $35,000 trust fund that you can access at age 18, then it might be an good idea to postpone additional courses until those funds become available. You don't have long to wait.
In the meantime, you could borrow from a classmate now and then or make some other arrangement, surely. You could speak to the teacher, or as I said earlier, the guidance counselor. You won't know what options are available until you ask. And I cnannot imagine that a teacher would allow a student to fail simply for lack of $44 for a textbook.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): First off, what is the money going toward? Food shelter clothing? 100 goes to you. She is now essentially your parent. Food, shelter, decent clothing are provided by parents. I would consider internet and computers a neccessity for anyone going to school. Cable and tv are a luxury. Books for school are neccessary for success. But a certain brand of clothing ipods, cell phones esp smart phones are luxury items. See where im going with this? See where the money goes. Get a weekend job, even if its just yard work or babysitting. Its likely they will also pay you under the table. Although ssa may want to know about gifts. Cut costs where you can. Get used books if availible. I hope that helps. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (2 October 2012):
Aunt Ciar and Aunt SVC, in theory I agree with you ( how one can not agree, the guardian gets money not to go do her nails but to support the minor she's got the custody of, food shelter clothing AND school supplies ).
but, in practice, how does it work ?... If all this guardian gets is 400 a month, 300 in fact because the girl keeps 100, how can that be enough for feeding her clothing her paying her share of bills ( gas, elecetricity, water, phone etc.) AND buying expensive books ?
Something's gotta give , and I am afraid it's the nursing class. I am not that sure I understood it well, and my apologies if I am saying something stupid, but if the OP is in 12th grade this means she is in senior ( last ) year of regular high school right ? But she is also taking a college class - so something extra , something beyond the regular classes and regular school books, right ?
I don't think any guardian is legally or morally bound to
stretch herself thin to pay extras.
So if this is something beside your regular program at a public school ( and again ,sorry if I am mistaken ) I think all you can do is either convince your guardian to let you get a job now , and pay with the money you'll earn- or postpone your studies until you'll be over 18 ,self sufficient,and won't need a guardian.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 October 2012):
 Ask her for the money and maybe look in to second hand books too, just to save the extra money.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (2 October 2012):
I agree with SVC. The money your guardian receives is to support YOU, which means she coughs up the $44 for the book. It is NOT her personal slush fund or a special bonus she gets for being a nice person. School supplies should not come out of your allowance.
She doesn't want you to work because she doesn't want you to have money (and therefore power) of your own nor to jeopardize tax payer funds she receives.
What you could do is speak to your school guidance counselor and inform them of your situation.
And I take back what I said about gifting your guardian $1000. It sounds like she's been gifting herself plenty already.
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Did you talk about exactly what the money you get to keep is supposed to cover? Is it clear that school books and other things you need for your education should be included? What about winter boots, winter coat, and the like? I think you should talk to your guardian and ask those questions, because if that many very expensive things are included, you should perhaps get a bigger share of that money? I assume your guardian is supposed to provide for you like your parents would have and most parents in most places ought to provide for their kids to get through school. Which means give extra money for extraordinary costs connected to this.Is there somebody else you can talk to about this, like the social service who hands out the money in the first place?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
25 dollars a week is not enough money to live...
she does not want you to get a job because depending on what you earn the SS benefits will be reduced.
YOU ask the guardian
and you tell her that the money she gets for you from SSA is FOR YOU
and while food clothing and shelter are supposed to be what they are for your books for school are included
and when she files her REPRESENTATIVE PAYEE REPORT she has to ACCOUNT for every penny of the money...
have you even asked her???
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