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The conversation will revolve around babies, should I suck it up and go?

Tagged as: Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2018)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am a happily married 37 yo childfree woman. Next sunday two friends of my hubby - invited us to lunch. His pals are both married, so we’re talking about lunch with two couples.

One couple has a three year old very lively boy and another has just had a baby. They are literally obsessed with their kids. And when we hang out it’s always a “boys vs girls” situation where the guys hang out and drink beer and talk about whatever they like, their shared childhood memories and whatnot and me... well I am stuck with the girls who only ( and I mean only) talk abiut breast pumps, c sections, diapers and so on. It’s a lot to take. Not to mention the underlying judgment for being child-free... I could tolerate that but this non-stop baby talk is just too much to process. I dont mind kids, but them only talking about them is too much. Yet, I know my hubby loves the boys and hanging out with them as he’s known them for ages and he has heaps of fun with his boys. So: should I just suck it up and go? I know he would stay home if I told him I am uncomfortable with the two wives, but is it okay to deprive him of a night with his pals whom e rarely sees now because they recently moved away.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (15 January 2018):

CindyCares agony aunt If he'd rather stay home with you than go to see these friends alone, then obviously he is not terribly bothered about seeing them or not, he can take them or leave them..

He HAS the option of going by himself, if he chooses to discard it that's his choice , of which you are not responsible. He is an adult and you are his wife, not his nanny.

Said that , compromise is generally a good idea; like, you do not need to accept every single invitation from these people, you can politely decline some of them, or most of them.... OTH, if once on a while you hang out with the mommies and do not have a whole lot of fun- I suppose it won't kill you, you can handle it ; after all who is who can ALWAYS avoid anything boring or uncomfortable ? Once in a rare while, I guess you could grin and bear - or else, steer the conversation toward other subjects.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (11 January 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHe sounds a bit like my husband. If it was me I think I would go and try and change conversation to topics you are interested in every now and again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2018):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for getting back to me! He cant go alone because well... he wont go alone! He just says he doesnt like going alone and he’d rather stay home with me than going alone. So it’s wither we go together or he won’t go. This is so frustrating because by not going I feel like I am pulling him away from his friends...!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 January 2018):

chigirl agony auntWhy cant he go alone?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (10 January 2018):

CindyCares agony aunt Why do you have to ask him to stay home ? Can't he go hang out with his friends and you stay home, or go somewhere else , occasionally ? You don't need to write these ladies off totally, or look like you are snobbing them, then again you are not joined at the hips with your husband, you can have different plans every now and tehn ! You don't even need to lie ( although, I think a little white lie every now and then is not so terrible ). You are not close with these ladies, you are not old friends, - they are just your husband's friends' wives; " previous engagements " or " Sorry I am busy today " or just " I'll join you next time " will be enough.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntHave you tried changing the subject?

I think it's PRETTY normal for pregnant women and women who recently had kids to talk A LOT about kids. It's a natural progression. Because the kids become the center of their universe.

BUT that doesn't mean you can't change the conversation here and there to more (to you and maybe them) interesting conversations).

And I don't think you HAVE to go every time they meet up. They aren't really friends of yours, "just" the wives of HIS friends. So if you don't go EVERY time I think that is fine too.

Shouldn't be too hard to make up and excuse.

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