A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,I have this best friend of 5 years whom i had a crush on at the start of our friendship but we had a talk about it and decided just to be friends. i was able to get over her and became best friends (i even dated someone else at that time). we hang out alot, we go to movies together (alone), we go to concerts, we have phone calls that usually exceed the one hour mark and so on; bottom line is that we are really close. only recently (for the past 10 months) have i started to develop feelings for her that exceed just being friends. she is leaving the country in exactly 2 months and going to live somewhere in Europe (which is like on another continent) after graduation (last semester of college for us). her family is here so she will drop by every couple of years once or so. she always said that she is not into relationships or dating and hasn't been in one for the duration of the 5 years of college and always said no to people who asked her out. she is a bit of a tomboy and is a very outgoing person. i would like to tell her how i feel but i don't think she would return those feelings back and by doing that i would be destroying a GREAT friendship and gained nothing. also when she moves i will have limited contact with her so a relationship is highly unlikely.what should i do? and if i were to tell her how i feel how can i do it and still be friends with her without her feeling that i betrayed our friendship?thank you...
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male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (3 June 2014):
Hi,
In two months, she leaves your country and lives somewhere else. I would just let this all happen and move on. You have a ready made answer because when she leaves, she will be gone from your life and the 'seeing' and 'frustration' will begin to go. Let her go, in 5 years she didn't want anything to do with relationships so ~i believe that must give you your answer. Do not waste any more life waiting on her.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 June 2014):
This is the definition of a rhetorical question. You know that there is literally zero reason to tell her you like her. NONE.
There is absolutely no scenario where this will result in the two of you beginning a satisfactory relationship. NONE.
The best case scenario is that she says she likes you two and cancels her plan to travel. Can you imagine that happening? A more realistic best case scenario is that she says she likes you too and leaves anyway. Then what? Do you want a girlfriend you see once or twice a year? One that, if she likes you more than a friend, probably doesn't like you enough to sustain a LDR.
The more likely scenario is that she's going to remind you that she doesn't like you in that way and you'll make things awkward since she had to turn you down twice.
It's likely that she is a lesbian to be honest. Possibly asexual or something, but it doesn't sound like she's open for a traditional relationship with you or anyone else.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Hello
In all honesty I think you have answered your own question here:
"i would like to tell her how i feel but i don't think she would return those feelings back and by doing that i would be destroying a GREAT friendship and gained nothing. also when she moves i will have limited contact with her so a relationship is highly unlikely."
If she wanted a relationship with you, or felt the same, then realistically something would have happened by now. As she is soon to leave to live abroad, there is no point in declaring your feelings for her as even if she said she felt the same way, which is highly unlikely to be honest, its not going to work if she is out of the country for such a long period of time.
You are great friends, so is suggest you don't possibly spoil it by telling her how you feel.
Hopefully, in the nicest possible sense, her going to live in another country is a blessing in disguise as being away from her will hopefully allow you to move on.
Mark
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