A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiya,I am gay and my best friend (a girl, J) is rather attracted to this guy called T. J is besotted with T and would do anything to be with T but the other day T admitted his feelings for me. This is made worse by the fact that T is apparently gay, even though J adores him. I'm not going to lie, I am also quite attracted to T but what do i do about J?
View related questions:
best friend, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2015): I would tell J that T said he liked me (so is gay) and then J can stop pointlessly mooning over him, when he clearly isn't interested.
However, I would NOT date T myself. My best friend is more important to me than some dude. It might upset her/make her feel stupid/uncomfortable, if she REALLY liked this guy.
I am female and straight, my best friend is male and gay, so I am thinking about this like if it was the other way round. I would not want to flaunt the man in his face that he liked so much. Nor would it be very nice if he did the same to me.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 July 2015):
How complicated! Tell J the truth. Whether T is indeed gay or not, his feelings are evidently not for J. Tell J that you value her friendship and want to be honest with her about the fact that it’s not likely T will reciprocate her feelings. She can do what she wants with this information. As for your own attraction to T, you should again be honest with J before doing anything, if you intend to act on these feelings. You should, of course, be aware that acting on your feelings might put your friendship with J at risk and that’s something you’re going to have to weigh up for yourself. Whatever the situation, and whatever you know, my advice is not to keep anything from J. You’ve done nothing wrong to her.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
