A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here is what's going down. I am 14 years old (closer to 15 at the moment however), and I had a few problems a couple years ago. I was at middle school, in year 7, aged 12 at the time. I had a maths teacher who I was fond of, he is very good looking and fun to be around. I didn't actually have a crush on him prior to what I'm about to tell you though.Two years ago, a few months before the school broke up for summer and I would get new classes ironically, I became depressed. I don't really like to talk about that period of time anymore, I like to pretend it doesn't exist. The school found out one day via a pupil telling my Science teacher, who later told the head. My parents already knew, but only a few days before the school found out. I was told I could choose a teacher I feel comfortable talking with about my problems, they propped up more qualified teachers in that area, but thought it would be best for me to talk to whoever I felt comfortable with.I didn't really plan on talking to any of them. However one day I was distressed and bumped into my maths teacher. I think I should mention he was 24 at the time, and 26 in this present day.He took me in and let me talk, he made me laugh, he made me smile, I came out after speaking with him happy most of the time. My emotions were very silent and raw when I was 'depressed', I didn't really cry in front of him when I was sad, it was hard to explain, and I'm not really sure if he got it to be honest, but he took those feelings away.One day, I wrote down how I felt about him. I had developed a crush on him, and I don't know why I did that. He told me to leave the note under his laptop (he had to go somewhere and I told him prior I was upset, this write it down). I knew he would never think of me like that, as even I knew with my infatuation that my age and his age should never go in the same sentence. Alot of stolen glances followed in my next, last year at that school. A friend commented on how much he looked at me following what happened in maths class. I wasn't really aware of it in class, but I noticed he looked at me alot the next year. Sometimes he'd be friendly, other times he'd be wary. This I understand. I left middle school aged 13.I love my high school I go to now, and I am actually a year 10 already, as at my school we start the new school year a few weeks before Summer holidays to settle in. I am very happy here. However there is still one little problem, which seems to be getting me down much more lately. After two and a half years of experiencing those little feelings that I thought were just a stupid crush, I think I may be in love with him. I haven't stopped thinking about him, the feelings feel stronger. And I hardly ever see him. I've seen him and had long conversations with him after school when I have visited the middle school. Conversations that would have been forbidden while I still went to school there, because of the circumstances. The way he looks at me now, he looks into my eyes, almost romantically, and it's like we know what we're thinking. I can tell there is something there between us. It's like, you just know these things.I am very much mature looking for my age now, I have changed a fair bit (however I think I am destined to be under 5'2 whereas he is about 6 foot tall haha, genetics). I often get mistaken for much older. I am confident now, I am not depressed like I was, howeveri still have my weaknesses. I am quite a flirty girl now and treasure happiness. I don't know how I feel about not being able to shake this man out of my heart...I don't know what to say to him when I see him now, I think our friendship is rebuilding, but I can't really shake the looks we exchange, the lingering feeling that is there.Any advice on what to do? And sorry for the terribly long question, and don't tell me to forget about him. I have considered a few boys my age and some a few years older, however I just can't picture myself with anyone else, even though I have that tendency to flirt alot! That's just one of my qualities.I'm in love with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): True love isnt just how you feel about another, its how they show you their love in return. At your teachers age its nearly impossible to have a relationship w/a young lady under 17. In the futureit is possible,honey,you just have to wait till ur legal.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Sweetheart, there are many questions from girls like you who have strong feelings for their teachers. People don't answer these threads because the girls who ask these types of questions don't want to hear the truth. What's the truth? Your teacher is keeping his distance while keeping an eye on you because he doesn't want to lose his job. Many male teachers leave their chosen career because they are the focus of teen girl affections and that's not why they wanted to become teachers. They aren't there to been idolized by teenage girls, they are there to teach.
You will eventually outgrow these feelings, as you get older and get some more perspective and experience in life. Your frame of reference is very small right now, your school, home, your circle of friends. Once you get out of secondary education and go to uni if that is what you want, you will look back on this time with a greater understanding of your younger self.
You are still learning your way in the world; male teachers are easy to focus on because they are there, they are comforting and safe for the most part, they pay attention to you because that's their job and they tend to be comfortable with teenagers and in some cases, were teenagers only a few short years ago. They 'get' you in a way that you may not realize.
If you are having trouble coping with your thoughts and are showing signs of depression, please talk to your parents and let them know what is going in your head.
I would suggest you read this great thread: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html
Keep your feelings out of the classroom if you want this teacher to keep his job and focus on LEARNING, not the love story that you are building in your mind, okay?
I know this isn't what you want to hear but all the adults here will agree with me. I was a teenager once too, I remember having a massive crush on my social studies teacher. As I look back on it now, I realize he had his own life, he was an adult and he would have looked at my feelings for him with the sad knowledge that it was merely a phase I was going through and that I would eventually get over it, which I did. I remember being devastated when I learned he had a gorgeous girlfriend and was planning to get married. Oh, the trauma in my heart then. Time will heal this trauma for you, a greater self-awareness hopefully will grow inside you and you'll come to understand that he's there to TEACH you, and your job is to LEARN.
Good luck with your studies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Someone please answer. ):
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