A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and is madly in love with my neighbor age 44 (looks 30). He is married but only see his family twice a mth over weekends coz they are overseas. We have been seeing each other almost daily for past 2 yrs, but he would only kiss and hug me. I want him to make love to me; marry me and I dont mind to be his second wife. I've discussed this with him, but he said I'm still too young and prefers that I continue with my studies. I've now past the legal age, certainly not too young. I'm sure he loves me, but why ?? So many boys have been trying to date me, yet I rejected them for him ... Thanks in advance for your advices. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, darksecretangel  +, writes (6 May 2007):
 hunni if you love him you should stay away from him, although you mite be over legal age think about it, he has a family. he could also be doing this for you. think about it hunni you want to marry him and be his econd wife. consider the future, when he is 60 odd you will still be in the prime of your life. are you really sure about him anyway one day you mite regret your decision about him because you mite fall for some one else. also he would be commiting a felony because if you and him married he would be a bigamist
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): That man is going to go to jail if he doesn't leave you alone...
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A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (10 April 2007):
My gut reaction is to say, try to distance yourself from this man. He is vulnerable because he sees his family so rarely, and you should respect them.
if you turn 18 and he gets divorced, that would be different. But for now, I
think you are living in a fantasy of this man. You should try to talk to
a counselor about this. You need to protect yourself psychologically and
physically!!! Try to hang out with friends your own age and get some
persspective!! You are too young for this kind of involvement!!!!!!!!!!! This man knows better, too, and should keep his own distance.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (10 April 2007):
 He's right about it for now. You do need to continue with your studies. Frankly, he's a man and even if he weren't already married he wouldn't want a half-educated woman as his wife. So apply yourself in school. That's your job for now.
Does that mean you have to give up on him permanently? Well, maybe and maybe not. Have you asked him seriously to consider the possibility of a polygamous lifestyle, eventually? How does he feel about it? Would his wife be willing to accept you as a junior wife? Would you be willing to come into such a household, knowing that you will always be living in the shadow of an older and more established woman?
The poly lifestyle CAN work, but it takes a LOT more effort and good will on the part of EVERYBODY involved than a normal relationship takes. And in most places (I'm not sure where you would be living) you would have almost no legal rights with respect to him. That means that if he were to die, you would be just out in the cold ... no inheritance for your children, no rights for you, no nothing unless the senior wife willed it.
So think it over. Talk it over. But first, get your education out of the way. He's a man. If he wants you at all, it's as an educated woman, not as a half-trained child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): Remember 16 will get you 20 in prision and the legal age is 18. It is stachatoey Rape
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