A
female
age
41-50,
*ayrich
writes:Hello,Here's my situation: i found out through myspace that my boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating with an ex girlfriend for the past year. when confronted, he denied it so i confronted her and found out it was true. when he found out i talked to her, he said i should've let him tell me instead of snooping to find out so now he has decided he wants to be with her but keeps calling me and still wants to work out together.I dont know what to make of this, are we broken up or what? i still love him be the betrayal hurts.
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male
reader, lerokiya  +, writes (29 March 2010):
I confronted my cheating wife's other man, and the same thing happened. she was furious. he was furious that his affair may be exposed. the coward kept pressuring me to leave him alone, calling me every name she could think of. I told them both that they deserve each other. My bet is that their affair won't last the spring. Your man had a chance to tell u the truth, when lies didn't work, he went on the offensive, same as my ex. In the end, these cheaters deserve every ounce of misery they get. good luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 The question you will need to answer is whether you still love him after what he has done to you and whether he is worth taking back?
If you think he is worth a second chance, it has to be on your terms .
Walking away from a 3 year relationship is not easy but you must have the courage to face this problem in your life and decide what is best for yourself.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (25 March 2010):
 There may be a time and a place for getting back together, but its not now.
He is no where near committed to you, he is not taking responsibility and if you accept the situation you make yourself look weak and undesirable and set yourself up for repeated cheating.
You are definitely broke up.(or should be) This shouldn't be his call its yours... he lost the privilege of being with you.
I know its hard and painful, but you have a much better shot at self-respect, healing and possibly saving your relationship (if you want) by drawing a hard line and letting him know its all or nothing.
Then find a 1,001 fun and exciting things to distract yourself with...do them regardless of how you feel. And if he eventually tries to come back... don't fall for it too quickly make him earn his way back with hardcore changes. You might discover that you like yourself better without him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 eh, you gave him the chance to tell you when you confronted him and he denied it
he is trying to baffle you with words, create enough of a smoke screen and he hopes to come out the other end squeeky clean
tell him you are not interested in talking to him, or working out with him. He isnt interested in a monogamous relatiohship with you, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
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A
male
reader, Chargers85 +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Don't even bother with him no more. I think you should really just focus on getting him out your life. If you were a good girlfriend to him, then you dont deserve that kind of treatment.
Its always better to hurt for a couple of weeks than to hurt for years because of things like this.
Although if you really want him back, think about. Will you really trust him again? Can everything really be the same again? Relationships are based on trust. Without it the relationship will just shoot up and come down and crash.
For what it seems he cares more for the girl he was cheating on you with. So just build your confidence, forget about him and just start all over. Go out and find another guy, there's millions of them! You dont have to be stuck with one...
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (25 March 2010):
 I really think that you should take a hard look at what happened and ask yourself if you deserve to be cheated on, disrespected and then blamed for 'snooping?'
You ask if you're broken up...that's a decision you should make. Are you ok with letting this man back into your life, trusting him again, giving him your time? I wouldn't be.
No matter how great he may have been and how much you love him, what he has done should be enough for you to walk out of his life. He doesn't deserve you and he didn't appreciate you.
I think this is your decision to make. He's hanging around for some reason but don't be there for him. Why should you?
I know that three years is a long time to just throw away but it's not worth it. He's cheated, he wants to stay with her...he's not for you anymore. Let him go.
Take your time to work through this on your own. You don't need someone in your life who has treated you like this.. He has no respect for you or your feelings and you need to shut him out of your life before he hurts you even more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): Drop him like hot potatoes! It might hurt, but I have seen a girl cry over a guy. They say "They hurt you once, they will only hurt you again." So why risk your heart being mended by the same guy who broke it? It's obvious he hasn't gotten over his ex. I know it hurts, but you never know, and maybe he probably doesn't even know that you were probably just a rebound. Whatever guy cheats on you then that means he isn't good enough for you. No girl should have to go through that. That just means that guy is selfish, arrogant, and inconsiderate. Please consider what I have said. And good luck.
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