A
female
age
41-50,
*P
writes:l think l have a problem about my sex life cos every time when lam having sex l don't feel anything at all this thing is started about 3 months ago when l found my boyfreind sleeping with other woman
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): You need to think: if he did it once what means he wont do it again?
There comes a point when we have to put our own happiness first, this is obviously something that sits on your mind and why should your sex-life suffer when he's out there having a whale of a time.
You need to think back to the person you fell in love with because people change and there must be a catalyst for his cheating.
I am strongly against the concept of boyfriends who sleep around as their greed exploits not only you, but the other women of their bodies and dignity. I say, save yourself before your life becomes an unending monotony.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 Initially , you will have revulsion's and then apathy creeps in.Sex becomes meaningless and a bore.
This is because there is no more loves for him .You would have to work at your marriage , forgive and start to love him again .
If you cannot do that, the marriage will be empty and devoid of any meanings.
You are still married and having sex with him because the other alternatives are more unpalatable.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (20 February 2010):
In my opinion, if you guy cheats on you, you have to stop sleeping with him for a while to resolve the issue. This makes him take the focus off you as just a sex partner and makes him focus on you as an emotional partner. When you sleep with a man so soon after cheating, you are basically rewarding him for his bad behaviour. You should have said no to sex, then taken him to the New Start Centre for an HIV test then a 3 months waiting period then retest (the window period for infection). If he decides that he cant wait then he is just using you for sex. And if you can't make him wait, are you worried that you have to do it or else he will go to the other woman? Many woman have this fear. But really, do you want to be with a man you have to give sex to or else he will leave even when you are at risk of catching something? You have to have a sense of self-worth and realise that you should not cheapen yourself to his whims. So far who is the winner in this relationship? You or him? Tell him you need a break yekumbofunga. Then he will also think about your real value. I went through this too and despite all his begging for forgiveness and all, I had to make him wait to learn that there are consequences for his actions. If you decide to carry on with him, then tell him that hazvisikunaka. That will bring his ego down to earth. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2010):
Well I'm hardly surprised you're not feeling anything. I'm a guy, but I know this. If a woman's head is not into sex because she has other things on her mind, she won't feel anything. He cheated on you, of course you're not going to feel anything if all you can think a out is him with other women. I think you should go back to basics and really work on your marriage. Don't worry about not feeling anything at this time. Work on your marriage.
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