A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex boyfriend have known each other since we were about 9 or 10 yrs old, we went out with each other when we were 17 years old for about a year and he was the first person I slept with until I met someone else a few yrs ago we met back up in the village shop I was with someone who I was not getting on with and it was a volitile relationship, me and my ex got back together for a couple of years it was great and we lived together then one of his mates started to come around alot and one night he kissed me and ended up having a affair behind his back for 6 months we then all went on holiday and on the first night I told him about the affair as his mate was putting pressure on me to tell him, so my ex left and I heard he was seeing someone else and felt jealous for a while but got over as he was living in another town, just recently I started seeing him in the village I lived and heard he had moved back to his parents it didnt bother me that much until he bumped in to my partner and started talking to him a few nights later he came around to see us and said he had no hard feelings for what had happened but since seeing him again all the feelings I had for him years ago have come back.I cant get him out of my head I tried to explain to him that I never wanted to finish with him but his mate was putting pressure on me but he just says its too late now, I really cant help these feelings I still have for him what should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Shame my angel,
Its not an easy thing to deal with! Feelings that are unresolved are bound to resurface again and it generally happens when we see the other person.
Your relationship with your ex sounds like it went on for a while and you miss the feelings that were once there! Yes you hurt him and its a male thing to just end things and not try to work on problems, but heaven forbid he does it and then we being petty cause it meant nothing to them!
But he ended it and it doesn't look like he wants to reconcile and that unfortunately you going to have to come to terms with. You may feel you need closure on the relationship cause you weren't the one to end things, but doesn't look like he is going to give it to you! So the best thing to do is stop seeing him, we all want what we can't have, but if we can't see what we want, we start to want it less! The hurt will go away i can't say how long it will take, but it will get easier, as long as you don't see him!
Thinking about him that i can't help you with, but you must remember, you control your mind, don't let it cotrol you cause it may become dangerous for your health! the looney bin is not what its made out to be, ask me i know, i've been there!
But once you have peace with your self and realise that, pineing over the situation is not going to help the sooner you will be on the road to recovery!
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