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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm getting quite worried, because I just can't orgasm during sex. I can when he licks me out, or rubs my clitoris, but during actual intercourse it doesn't really turn me on to a point where I can orgasm...Is there a problem? I know there's a disease or something where you don't find sex ''turny-onny'', but is this what it's like?I enjoy it and everything, but I just don't orgasm...What can I do? Should I worry?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): i wouldn't worry about it too much. it might just be that it isn't something that turns you on.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Some women faked orgasm while some men won't even know if you had one or not. Some men just did their job and is'nt bothered if you had an orgasm .
As long as you can please him , he will be satisfied.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 The statistics are that 75% of women can only come with extra stimulation directly to the clitoris. So, you are perfectly normal. Most women need finger stimulation on the clitoris or oral sex in order to come. So you are quite normal, like the rest of us. There is absolutely no shame and it shouldn't affect your guy if you ask for this. The main part of having sex is pleasing your partner, not getting hung up on how you actually get there!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 There is nothing unusual at all about this. The growing understanding regarding female orgasm is that it takes a woman at least 20-30 minutes of foreplay, preferably with oral stimulation of her entire vulva, to reach a satisfying climax.
Since your bf is apparently willing to "lick you out," as you say, he just needs to become a master of cunnilingus.
It best begins with with very light licking of the vulva lips (labia), from bottom to near the top - almost just a tickle. This follows only after a lot of gentle massaging and other hand and finger stimulation of your vulva.
Gradually, the licking can increase in intensity, but still, usually avoiding the clitoral head, which is extremely sensitive for most women, at least until you become highly aroused.
His licking should employ a variety of motions, such as flicking, horizontal, both fast and slow, and with an occasional exploration of the vaginal opening.
Another area of arousal for most women is the perineum, the area between the anal opening and the vulva.
The entire vulva and surrounding area is like an extension of the clitoris, and includes the so-called G-spot, the labia (both major and minor), the perineum, and to a lesser degree, inside the vagina where the G-spot is located. Most of the inner vagina is less sensitive except for the G-spot.
I would need to write a whole chapter on that, but anyway, your man can eventually begin applying tongue and a little bit of finger stimulation around and upon your clitoris, including it's shaft and hood, while perhaps using one-to-three fingers to insert the vagina. His other hand should be placed just above the vulva on your mons veneris, with firm downward pressure.
He should use a "come here" motion with the finger or fingers of his other hand, which stimulates the G-spot located about two-to-three inches inside on the vaginal ceiling.
Occasionally, as as you near climax, his tongue application on your clitoris should become more like flat pressure which you can press against.
There's bit more to it, but that should eventually bring you explosive pleasure, and then he can please himself with vaginal penetration, mutual oral stimulation or whatever, and both of you may live happily ever after.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (21 January 2008):
The worst thing you can do is worry about it.
A lot of women - maybe most - have difficulty reaching orgasm from vaginal stroking alone. different couples have a variety of solutions to this problem, and others don't see it as a problem at all - especially since he seems to be helping you to climax in other ways.
Like others have, some positions may work better. Some girls like rear-entry positions such as doggy or spoons. The classic admonition is that whoever is on top gets the best orgasm - especially if she's willing to to make un-ladylike hip movements that get everything touching "just right".
In any position a finger - yours or his - stroking your lips or clit might work very well. And as you get close to climax some trigger points might appear on your breasts, butt, inner thighs, or rectum that will put you over the edge if they are touched just right. Caution - a few guys might feel insulted if you start fingering yourself while he's stroking, but many of us actually find it erotic or even physically stimulating.
Don't be afraid to enlist your guy's help on this project. Most of us get great satisfaction from being inside our partner and holding her as she climaxes, so by helping you reach this goal he's working for his own pleasure as well.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (21 January 2008):
 I have the same problem and i think alot of women do so dont worry your normal and your not alone try rubbing your clit while your having sex or there are many toys you can buy that you can use with him, so dont give up hope just find what works for you.
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (21 January 2008):
 I have the same problem as you. Yes I worry but some women cannot get off with vaginal stimulation. It's natural. Some women, like us, can only get off on clitoral stimuli. You are not weird or a freak or any less a woman because you can't cum when he is in you. Every woman's body is made differently and wired differently. Don't worry about it and just relax. If you worry so much, you won't cum at all.
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