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male
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*hredordie
writes: Ok, so I really like this girl: younger, still in college (I'm 23, one year out of school). We dated long distance for a couple months before she broke it off before coming home for the summer. I was affected by this more than I thought I would be. I almost feel like I love her. Anyways, I strongly believe, that if I'm persistent enough without being pushy and annoying, that I can win her over. This I feel means being funny and creative. I just realized that a link on her facebook for an international aid organization is run by her older sister and all donations go directly to her house. Would it be sweet or just weird to make a donation? The thing is, I have to make it obvious that it's from me and somehow include her name so that she sees it in addition to her sister. I was thinking something along the lines of this:Mail the donation (any idea for an amount to donate?) Along with a note saying something like:I appreciate your efforts in reaching out to the impoverished people of this nation ... (say something about the cause, I AM intersted in charity and helping underprivleged and plighted people of the world out, so I'd like it to be sincere) Then I'll say something like: I am very much interested in finding out more about your cause. If at all possible, I'd like to discuss it with Ann (the girl I'm interested in) over dinner. Something along those lines, I'll make it very sincere. I was just wondering if A.) it would wrong or insensitive or offensive to do this. I'd just like to make an impression on this girl.Thank you!Mike
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 June 2008):
I think "I'd like to buy a dinner date with Ann" sounds a little bit sleazy. Just my personal opinion but there you go.
I would just approach this girl and ask her about the charity. Ask her if she ever takes part in any fundraising events? Come up with an idea and suggest you could plan it together.
It would mean you get to spend time with her and the charity gets a boost. Then you just have to be yourself and hope she likes you.
Don't make yourself a 10 point plan of action for how to win her over as that could be considered strange. Just use the charity as an excuse to talk to her and take it from there.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, shredordie +, writes (15 June 2008):
shredordie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you India and lexilou for your answers! The truth of the matter is that yes, I guess I do have ulterior motives, but Ann is just such a nice girl and passionate and enthusiastic about life and causes like these, that she has definitely rubbed off on me. So I will definitely be doing it out of the goodness of my heart. I think I'll just casually mention in the note to thank Ann for making me aware of the foundation. Something like that.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (15 June 2008):
 If you want to donate to the charity then do it anyway. Then just let Ann know you've donated and how great it is that her sister is doing this. This will get the lines of communication open again and you can ask her for a date.
I just worry that no matter what your intentions are she might feel you have only donated to impress her and she may not like that.
Do it but contact her directly after the fact x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Hey there,
Well, let me say that it's NEVER a bad thing to donate to charity. Just make sure that you're doing it with no expectation of love from this lady you're trying to impress. Just do it out of the sheer goodness of your heart and that will bring more positive attention to you!
I think your idea is wonderful, Be generous, include the note and when you meet up with Ann, be sure that you do ask questions about the charity (so that it's not too obvious that you just donated to get a chance with her!). Hey, if you guys end up together, this will turn into a really great "how we met" story.
Maybe a $50 donation (or more) is suitable?
Wonderful idea, sweetness!
xx India
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