A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy not too long ago...He is Asian/chinese and I am a Latin/south american. He is younger for 8 yrs.Our schedules are very different..I work nights and he days, we see each other everytime we can make it..can be like 2 o 3 times at month.Our relationship went to next level soon...we start intimate and is great.Due our jobs we can't really see each other a lot plus I am living at south side and he lives at north side..that is like 60 miles away..Sometimes I am off from work and I would like to see him but I know he is busy working...we dont have even same days off..I work most the time weekends.One day I text him letting know that I am free and I would like to go out and if he is free he can come over and meet me. He txt back saying he is busy at work and I shouldn't wait for him to go out..he said is your day off enjoy it!I decided stay at home and I just spent the time watching a movie.Yesterday I was off from work and I decided to call a friend of mine..We planned to meet in a salsa place at 10 pm...I was there at time and she never showed up! Then she txt me later saying sorry she couldnt make it..Anyway I was there already I paid the cover and everything so I stayed and I was watching the people dancing and enjoying the live music.One guy came to me and asked me for a dance..I acepted and we endend dancing and talking , we had a good time. At midnight I said I am living and then he asked me if I would like to go out and have a lunch with him in a new latin restaurant...he said I really want to go but will be very nice if u go with me cuz you know about the food and u can help me to choose something good. In that moment I thought about my chinese guy when he told me I shouldnt wait for him to go out.I gave to him my number and he wanted to kiss me and hold my hand but I said not kisses not hugs, nice to meet you bye! And he said is ok I will call you.Then when I was driving home I felt like guilty..I dont know if I should to tell my chinese guy that I went out and I met someone else and I gave my number to him..? I dont know what to do...plus I forgot say something..I know they know each other! One time I saw them talking in that place but that time I was with my chinese. What if he find out that I gave my number to the other guy since they know each other?I need help please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Four years ago an Asian guy from my work asked me to go Salsa dancing. I went, but he never showed up! Instead I ended up dancing/ talking to someone else. Four years later we're married! You never know, you might have just met your husband!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): THANKS A LOOT!! Then the answer is NOT. I wont say anything untill I figure out whats going on with my chinese.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I agree with Chigirl... the relationship with the Chinese guy sounds casual not serious and you don't need to feel guilty about having other friends... and you don't need to "out yourself" and tell him you met someone else and gave him your number and may have lunch with him....
if you start getting serious with one or the other then you need to figure out where you stand with both and go from there... but that's later on down the road.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (9 February 2012):
 It seems that your relationship with your chinese BF is casual. I don't think that you owe him an explaination. If in the future you decide to take it to another level, then from that moment on, you are on the hook.
Good Luck!~
Jeff
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Oh, and you should NOT tell your Chinese guy that you met someone else and gave them your number. It'll just hurt him, and there is no need to tell him. If he tells you that he does not want a relationship with you then you are free to date anyone you want, there is no need to tell him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 February 2012):
Okay, you don't need to feel guilty. You are entitled to go out and meet whomever you want. You are not sure of what your relationship status is with your Chinese guy, and that is something you now must figure out.
Ask your Chinese guy if you and him are a couple, if you are officially together. If he doesn't know yet, or is unsure, then you are free to date other people. But only have sex with ONE guy at a time. If you are already having sex with your Chinese guy then you need to cut him off and tell him you aren't interested in any more, because you met someone else.
If your Chinese guy says that you and him should be in a relationship, then you need to decide if that's what you want. If you are in a relationship with the Chinese guy then you can not go on a date with the other guy.
If they are friends you can't date the other guy anyway, but you do not know if they are friends or just associates.
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