A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is the most loving caring man i have ever ever met. He would never do anything to hurt me and i would never do anything to hurt him but the other night i went to my friends party and an old friend and i got chatting - one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping with each other. I was incrediblly drunk and feel so horrible for what i did to my boyfriend. He doesnt know yet - should i tell him??
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female
reader, meggieboo  +, writes (22 April 2011):
last night i did the same thing and me and my friend are thinking if i should tell him but idk yet.but i don think i will cuz i love him soooooooooo much and don want to lose him.soooo im going to wait a couple of years lol......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I have been in that same situation and know what you are talking about. The guilt is excruciating, but you do deserve to live with it. Cheating happens either because you are missing something in your relationship, or you were hammered. I told my boyfriend, a year after it happened, I figured he had the right to know. We cried, and it hurt our relationship for a little while, but we are even stronger now than we were. We've been together 5 years now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): If you're sure that you love your boyfriend and want to stay with him, maybe telling him isn't the best idea. Telling him would only make things worse. You should have to live with the guilt. But, you have to ask yourself if it was accidental, or if you were missing something in your relationship that your had to sleep with someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive decided to tell him - i feel the most huge emount of guilt imaginable and feel it is the right thing to do. I hate myself at the moment so i feel this will be a weight lifted of my shoulders even if it hits me round the head on the way up. many thanks to all xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive decided to tell him - i feel the most huge emount of guilt imaginable and feel it is the right thing to do. I hate myself at the moment so i feel this will be a weight lifted of my shoulders even if it hits me round the head on the way up. many thanks to all xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): YOU messed up!!! Shame on you. Ask yourself this question Would I want to know if he cheated on me? If you answer is yes then you have to tell him in order to keep that mutual level of respect going. Yeah I said you have too only because if you don't tell him and he does find out(most do) then your really in trouble. Doubble whammy. Good luck and remember confession is good for the soul.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (3 September 2007):
 You say you would never do anything to hurt him but you did that the other night by sleeping with an old friend.As for telling him, well that depends on whether you have a conscience. If you can progress with this relationship without your conscience eating you up then good luck to you, i know i could not hide something like that. Relationships are built on trust, if you have not got trust its like building a house without digging the foundations, it will eventually fall.The right thing to do would be to tell him the truth and let the chips fall where they may. I know it will be hard but he has got a right to know, so tell him and let him decide and make up his own mind whether he wants to forgive you or not. It will be a weight from you shoulders as you no longer have any skeletons in the closet, you can progress with a clean slate.If you ever married him woulden't it be nice to walk down the aisle knowing all is out in open.All the best of luck xx
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A
male
reader, pavel38 +, writes (3 September 2007):
If you do tell him then you may well lose him, I've always believed that honesty is the best policy in this world (even though I've never slept with someone whilst dating someone else) and being honest hasn't always helped. Are you likely to feel the need to tell him in future ?. Is he likely to find out from anyone else ?. Personally, if you really don't want to lose this guy and don't think he'll find out if you don't tell him I think you should keep quiet and learn from your mistake. Not the kind of advice I'd usually give, I'm all for explaining and talking things through, but sometimes best to keep things to yourself.
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A
female
reader, carchick +, writes (3 September 2007):
 u shouldnt tell ur bf that u had sex with another person coz it would hurt him so much nd then he would prob end it with u
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Why did you cheat in the first place, I mean why do you care? You don't say that you love him just that he is a very loving man. If you wanted him and him alone I do not beleive that being drunk, particularly being female, cause sex is more relavant to us, that you could have cheated? If then you are not able to control yourself then let him go, if you care about him, but don't crush him. Are you a cheater? - let him go, Do you need to get your act together? - love him to bits, if he is likely, even a small percentage to find out - tell him from the heart and don't dick him around!, Good luck and don't use him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): you should tell him. it's likely he'll find out about it, and wouldn't you rather it be from you? Tell him what happened, that you didn't do it on purpose and couldn't control what was happening at the time. He'll probably be upset at first, but if your relationship is really that good, he'll eventually forgive you--even if it takes a bit of time.
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A
female
reader, Ladyme  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 wel first all of all ask yourself is there anyway that he could find out from someone else? was you safe? would you want to know if he had cheated on you? Afer you've asked yourself these questions then do what you need to. If you decide not to tell him you may find that the guilt will slowly eat you up and eventually ruin your relationship. Maybe it would be easier to tell him the truth before someone else does.
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