A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Right so, If a guy breaks up with you (very amicably) because the relationship can't happen because of external factors (and he won't admit his feelings you) and you feel very hurt, what do you do if the guy contacts you on a friendly basis a few weeks later? I am so hurt by the rejection and do not want to put myself in a vulnerable place by starting up communication again. He has done the rejection thing a few times in the past and then patches things up again bla-bla, but everytime I end up being rejected again. I want it to stop now. Will it be childish to go cold turkey, especially since he was sort of nice when he broke up with me and said that we should stay in touch? I have not contacted him at all since the split 4 weeks ago. Will it look like i am trying to make a silly point and hurt him if I don't respond? I don't want to look and feel even worse in this situation and would like to restore some pride, so how do I go about doing so?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Thank you for 7 great answers! It is hard to see things clearly when you are hurting, so now I feel like I know what to do and am going to be OK. Thanks dear cupid!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): NO - it most certainly WON'T be childish if you go cold turkey!!
If he has "done the rejection thing a few times in the past and then patched it up again" that is far too many - once would have been enough. You have to protect your feelings and not allow him to cause you this kind of hurt.
Amicable or not, it sounds as if he is toying with you.
Next time he emails or phones, just tell him the relationship is not going to work, and you neither want to be "friends" nor hear from him again - ever.
Just make that statement to him over the phone - if he calls you - or reply to his next email with those words, and then end the email, or simply hang up the phone. Do not allow him to respond, let alone argue with you or try to talk you into changing your mind!
You state the facts, then you drop him immediately. Period. No "if's", "and's" or "but's." You do not owe him any explanation. You have - and he has provided - plenty of good reasons to call a permanent halt to this nonsense he's dishing out!
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 You have every right to feel how you do, rejection is not a nice feeling i know from bitter experience, but ask ourself this how much worse would you feel if hed lead you on and made you think that he had feelings that werent really there. Be greatful that he was honest, and if he is as nice a guy as he seems then better to have him in your life as a good friend than not at all. Mr right is out there so get back on the horse and keep ridingkeep smiling x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): I don't think you are trying to make a silly point...the point taken should be leave me alone, I want to get over you...and you have every right to do that....communication with him won't help you with that, time is a healer of all things, and you owe it to yourself to give yourself that time...and to move on to a better reciprocal relationship
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 In the end, you can only do what you are capable of. If you arleady know the pattern of how the two of you react with each other and it always winds up with you feeling terrible, why put yourself through it again? It's not wrong to give someone the cold shoulder after you have been rejected and you don't owe him an explanation. Don't worry about how you look in anyone else's eyes but your own. Walk away with your chin up and find someone worthy of your affections.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Just be civil and polite. If he's hurt you, why do you care what he thinks? You're single now and free. If he calls you just politely say you're busy and unable to talk. If you see him in the street just say 'hello' and keep walking. You certainly don't need or have to be the one to contact him and that's definately not being rude. Just keep any contact to an absolute minimum and along the lines of a polite acknowledgement and move along. That is the non-childish way of doing it in my opinion. 8-D
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A
female
reader, jodie +, writes (3 September 2007):
 just simply say 'if this relationship wont work with me and you together then i dont really want to be ur friend either, i would rather us be together or not together at all'
just say something along the lines of that adn it should work out how you wish!!!!!!
gd luck!!!! jodie....xxxx
(p.s hope my advice helps)
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