A
female
age
30-35,
*nloveagain_y
writes:hey!i have this best friend of mine at school and she has a boyfriend whom she's been with for 4 years or so... he's also at the same school.her boyfriend comes to the same tuition place at me [we go there for extra classes] and there he flirts with this other girl. she knows he has a girlfriend, but still asked him out.and he agreed!! :( but my best friend is still in the dark. now this guy and the other girl go around doing obviously bf-gf stuff in front of me thinking i dont know.but the problem is, i do. and i dont know if i should tell my best friend. i can't break her heart. i feel like i have no business in it because she'd rather believe in him than me. i'll get blamed in the end.thanks for reading, sorry its such a long question!love u all :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 This is a horrible situation to be in. I'm sorry that you've found yourself in it. As bad as it is I really think you should tell your friend. At the end of the day, you're someone she should be able to trust. You expect a friend to be honest and loyal to you always, and as hard as it is I think you need to tell her.
Yeah, if you tell her she'd be heart-broken and upset and she could blame you. But when she finds out and realizes you knew all along, that could be even worse. She should know that although she'd prefer to believe her boyfriend, you wouldn't just make up these things.
I think you should tell her what you know, emphasize that you know it's none of your business but you couldn't keep it from her. Then just be there for her.
Good Luck. X
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 November 2009):
I'm afraid this is one of those difficult situations. But I do think you should tell your friend, no matter what happens. You know she deserves a better guy than this. Be brave and tell her, then be a great friend and have a box of tissues ready.
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A
female
reader, oliviaclairex +, writes (26 November 2009):
 This is a hard situation. There's the part of her getting hurt by knowing, and then the part where if you don't tell her and she finds out she'll be hurt.
Personally, I think she should know. I've been cheated on, and it is horrible finding out, and if I thought my friends new and didn't tell me I would be so upset. But then again, I'm the sort of person that would just finish him, whereas if she really likes him and you know she wouldn't end it with him even if she new it is hard.
Why don't you make her come with you to that class and she'll see? Or I think you should tell her, just make sure she knows you're telling her by being a friend and you're sorry but you think she should know.
Because otherwise she's stuck with that guy and will get hurt in the end, and friendship will last anyway over him.
xxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Djini  +, writes (26 November 2009):
Listen...I know this person who was being cheated on, and everybody knew but her. When she found out, she felt twice as bad because she also felt like an idiot, and like her friends were all laughing at her behind her back. She was pissed off at the people who didn't tell her.
If you tell your friend what's going on, in an honest, gentle way, she still might be pissed at you for a while. But eventually, she'll be grateful. It's better she be mad at you for telling her the truth, even if it cost you, than that she be mad at you for hiding something like that.
Good luck,
I'm sorry you're in such a bad position.!
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A
female
reader, Frenzotic +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Surely he knows you? You're his girlfriend's best friend!
You should call him out on it. Ask him what he's playing at.
You need to tell your friend otherwise if later on she finds out and asks why you never told her, seeing as you and her boyfriend are in the same extra class so you would have known...it would cause more heartbreak to her then.
She needs to know NOW rather than find out later
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (26 November 2009):
 I feel for you, its a very tough situation that you're in. You're right, if you tell her theres a chance she'll "shoot the messenger" - just get angry with you. But I imagine that would only be initial shock, and in the longrun she would see that you told her because you care about her, and don't want her to waste her time with someone undeserving of her!
If you know her boyfriend at all, you could try quietly approaching him and telling him that if he doesnt man up and tell her, you are going to stand by your friend and clue her in. I'm sure she would rather she found out from him - otherwise she may feel like everybody knows, and be humiliated.
Good luck with this one - make sure your friend finds out one way or another, and support her afterwards, she'll need good friends around her! xx
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A
female
reader, ToRii123  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 awie i hate situations like that but maybe you should talk to her bf an if that doesnt work or you would rather not talk to him you could always take pics an videos of him cheating an flirting using your cell or a camera but make sure it looks like your aiming at someone else. . . then tell your bestie coz you need proof or else she might think your lieing or trying to start rumors. . . sure she might be upset at first but let her calm down an she will be thankful that you were atleast honest with her (yea i kno my answer sounds like a plan out of gossip girl xD Lol but dont do it if you think its too risky kai coz losing e bestie hurts i would know /3 well i hope everything works out) an if you dont want to do the whole get proof thing then maybe talk to her but be nice as you can coz im guessing she might freak so just be there for her an be a bestie
i hope this all works out =) lats
ToRii BaByFaCe
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A
female
reader, Lovely Sweet Laura +, writes (26 November 2009):
 You should tell her. She is your friend and even if she decides to believe the lies he tells to cover his tracks at least you will know you did right by your friend. If he admits and she's decides to forgive him that is her business, or if she decides to trust him over you that is her choice as well. Would you want her to tell you if things were reversed? That should help you with your decision. Best of Luck to you and your friend.
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