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Should I take a risk and talk to my ex, or wait to see what happens when I visit his sister?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *udrey21 writes:

It's been 4 months since my ex and I broke up....the same week we broke up he slept with someone, but didn't tell me... I figured it out! We didnt talk for a month then he got in contact, admitting what he had done and saying how he regretted everything!!!

Since then, we have had a few nasty arguments because of me being so hurt, but now we are friends and talk quite often. He still brings up often how he wishes things could have been different. Last week, when I was at a low, I spoke to him. It just felt natural and he listened and made me feel better. It was a long distance relationship only 5 months but I know it was love.

I'm quite friendly with his sister and she wants me to go visit, and my ex said when I go he would like to take me to dinner. His friend was asking me about us the other day and told me if I still feel for him I should ask him how he feels....I have no idea why he would say that I dont even know this friend too well!!! Im an attractive girl with several guys on my case. I'm dating someone now and he's lovely to me, but I dont feel the spark at all.

My question is, should I take the risk and talk to my ex, or wait and see when I visit his sister, if he takes me out and what he says??? Please help but remember he did hurt me. I've been hurt many times, but I never wanted them back like this one...........? Thanks guys

View related questions: broke up, long distance, my ex, spark

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A female reader, layla26 United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

bo you know that feling wen you liked someone and wen you think about it now!! you thing o my GOD how did i even like hem ,well this will hapend to you in four months if you clever if not you bee in a long relesionship and you wont now who is write or rong, if you truely love someone you wouldent do that at list two weeks for a guy, and to came back and not say samething it will bring you mush more probles like paranoi will he do it again?anyway good luck

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A female reader, audrey21 United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

audrey21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you to all 3 of you for your answers! His sister is a friend, not her problem what he did! And we both decided to break up I didnt get dumped it was more my fault, but I thought we would work it out and didn't think he would sleep with someone. The distance was what hurt us. We spent a month together and were so happy, but kept worrying about the distance when we got home! I will have a good long think. Please keep comments coming! I want to believe he made a big mistake, but then again he might have done and said this to other girlfriends... he only had 2 before me.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

This all sounds far too convenient to me.

You were together 5 months, in an LDR. So before it really started, it was going to be a long haul to make it work. Then he broke up with you and there was no contact. In that same week, he slept with another woman. Then you had nasty arguments, and now your friends.

And now, he's totally changed his mind.

I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. I don't like the fact he so willingly dumped you early on and then happened to have someone else there ready. This sounds wrong, this sounds like a guy who's chancing his luck wherever he can. I think you're setting yourself up for pain again.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 January 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntOk well first off you say he slept with someone the same week you both broke up? Ok i can see why you would feel hurt that he would sleep with someone so soon but at the end of the day you were both broken up and it was just a rebound for him. He wasnt in a relationship with you therefore he techniqually didnt do anything wrong.

Ok so you need to look back and ask yourself why you both broke up 4 months ago? There must have been some reasons and issues and you need to look at these and see if they can be fixed and resolved because if you cant work on those issues they'll still be there and they broke you up once before they'll do it again.

If you still have feelings for him and think that you could both work on the relationship then go for it and tell him how you feel. I think it would be best to wait until you see him face to face and at least that way you can both talk openly to each other. Goodluck.

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