A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i desperately need advice from anyone..I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I discovered from his mobile phone that he was having an LDR with a younger girl who he claims is much prettier than me. This killed me inside but i begged him to stay with me and he agreed while he continued with her. After a couple of weeks, I realized I cannot endure sharing him with another girl so I asked him to break up with her. But he said that he thought to keep this girl as she doesn't know anything yet about us when as for me, things are already messed up. He said we can never change that the trust has been violated. With her he can keep his image of a good boyfriend. Because he said that, I decided to break up with him. Later that day he begged me to reconsider and said that he realized how much he loved me but said he also loves this other girl and he is confused. I got angry and we ended up instead with a very serious fight and a very bitter break up.I tried to forget him but what he did was so painful I had so many sleepless nights. I was so depressed. If only he can leave her, I would accept him again in a heartbeat.On the second month, i began to miss him and was not able to control myself from contacting him. Sometimes he would reply but sometimes he wont. Until I finally stopped to contact him as i realized this would never help me to heal.One week to go and it would be 3 months. I have to be honest, I am still not over him. And I still love him. But I am getting used to my new life now.But some things turned up lately though. This week, he texted me twice to ask me how I am doing. I replied after hours of thinking but then he did not reply. He said he wanted to drop by to just say hi. Then last night, he asked me if I tried to contact this girl or any of her friends. I said I did not and wasn't planning to coz I dont like to hurt the girl and I have accepted that he chose me over her. I cannot do anything with that even if I cry with blood.I asked him if he is ok and he said that he hasn't been okay since the last 3 weeks. Something happened between them and if I learn what it is, I might laugh and cry at the same time. I didn't pursue asking what it is. But I told him that if he needs a friend, I am only here and that he is a strong person. He said he will still see me.Last night I cannot sleep. I am going crazy thinking what might have happened between them. I admit I will be happy if they broke up.My question is, why do I feel this way? Is it wise to hope that we can be together again? Can anyone tell me what is the wise thing to do? I am really confused if i should still see him or not. I need advise very badly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): It will be difficult now, but you're freeing yourself for your future. The man was holding you back and not you can finally be yourself, do things for yourself, and make YOURSELF happy. Start concentrating on what all it is that makes you happy and donate some time to it.
Look to the future. It holds happier days!
~SY.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks girls for the advises!
Having read your point, I am in tears right now. I have thought the whole day today and realized that once he contacts me again, I swear I will tell him to get lost.
This is very difficult really. My mind is strongly telling me that I should let him go but my feelings wont. Everytime i get a message from him, I cannot stop myself from replying and being nice. I really hate myself.
Even though I would like to see him tomorrow, I would just close my eyes and reject him. I think this is my turn to atleast get EVEN with what he has done to me.
Thanks so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): just askin are u Arabian girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Well..Is it wise to put your hand in a lion's mouth and then ask him to bite when he has bitten you the day before? No. And why? Because you'd be putting yourself in a situation that you know is painful because it has been painful, and then basically asking for it again. The lion doesn't care if he hurts your hand.. all he knows, is the zebra just ran away and you're all he has left to feed on. What a stupid, mean lion. ~SY.
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