A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I'm so fed up. A veryyyy long time ago I was a manager of a retail store where I met a lady who was elder and incredibly sweet. She had 2 sons who I also met one living @ home and one living on his own. Let's call the son living at home "Brad" he has several issues and I kind of felt sorry for him being the type of person I am I allowed him into my personal life. He didn't seem to have "any close friends" lived with his mother had 2 divorces seemed lonely and needed someone to talk to. I listened to him tried countless times to help him with his problems but there always seemed to be problems. His one friend he would constantly bash him saying "he's stupid" etc always complaining but never revealing what he did to make his friend upset. Time went on and I'd invite him over for holidays ie christmas, new years, thanksgiving, I noticed he was trying to get me to be bf and gf (which would never ever have happened) so I gradually backed off. I'd still talk over the phone but never went to see him or invited him over. He would call which was daily with new problems his ex wives his kids, his mom. Eventually I backed off completely I suggested therapy to him to learn how to deal with problems more effectively he flipped totally calling me every name in the book. I hung up. He began emailing crazily calling names saying he has been so nice to me everything he has done for me etc. I couldn't believe it as he did nothing for me but in his sick mind he did. I blocked him on emails, changed my phone number and he found me on facebook started inboxing me and this was on and off for 4 years. He's nice then crazy. As soon as I decline "seeing" him in any shape or form he gets loony. There were times when he's been cival and sent me a friends request and I accepted and if a male or female would say I'm pretty on a picture he would become insanely jealous. Then write on my wall I used him, I slept with him (we never slept together) and he's 56 years old this is scary. I removed him and blocked him because he put on his own wall my name and wrote nasty lieing things about me. He's unstable and I'm thinking of reporting him what do u think
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christmas, divorce, facebook, his ex, jealous, living at home Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Report him.
I am the kind of person to call someone out and say that they are being a stupid bitch or something. However, I do not ever speak to them again.
If I were to say something mean, I make sure that all contact is cut off, because if they come back to me, then that opens the door to an abusive relationship.
What he did is bad and what you are doing is not right.
What he is doing is bad because it is stalking and intimidation.
What you are doing is bad because you are allowing it to continue by not taking decisive and immediate action.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Yes, take this very serious. In fact, if you have any of the messages he's been sending you at all, print them out or save to your computer or both. Take screen captures of facebook, too. (You can do this easily, press shift and print screen -which is by the F12 key- then choose paste in your computer's paint program and save as image file.) Any solid proof will be in your favor.
If he shows up at your residance or place of work report him ASAP and have proof. This man sounds very unstable and although he may just be a like a dog that hides under the couch to bark, he may also be dangerous. Better to err on the side of caution.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 i totally agree with soveryconfused. take this seriously coz he does sound like a loony and he is trying to force a friendship (and probably more) by intimidating you. block block block him! give him no encouragement or welcome what-so-ever and if he still persists report him. start a journal as you might need it for evidence of his stalking. NOW you know why he has no friends and 2 divorces behind him
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): The police aren't going to do a thing about him emailing you once and awhile and requesting you on FB. The first question they'd probably ask is if you told him to never contact you again. Did you tell him that? Subtle hints like not responding right away or declining to see him aren't going to be clear enough for many men to go away.
Essentially what you are wanting to accomplish via the authorities is for them to tell him you don't want to be friends anymore. That's something an adult woman needs to be able to do on her own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): You say that "me being the kind of person that I am" you let him into your life.What "kind" of person do you think that you are? Do you mean literally a kind person? Or do you mean that you are easy going in regard to who you let into your life?What one person thinks of as kindness, another might think of as selfishness, funnily enough. Then again, all acts of kindness to others involve an element of gaining a good feeling for ourselves, that's how it seems to work.I wouldn't say that what you did with this guy was necessarily an act of generosity or, conversely, that it came out of a "selfish" need to feel like you were helping...just that maybe you needed more experience in how to be wary of these situations. Sometimes we don't put boundaries in place where most people would. It is always open to misinterpretation and, depending on who does the misinterpreting and what original problems they bring to the situation that they already have, you could land in trouble as you have here.I guess it is a case of "lesson learned" and be a bit more wary if something like this happens again. Boundaries are helpful in any situation - the best people for you will be the ones that respect them and work with you, not against you and the limitations that you set.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Block him on facebook.
block him totally from your life
if he manages to show up where you are THEN you call the police and report him as a stalker and tell them all the things you have said here.
Sometimes trying to be nice to people bites us in the very kind tushie...
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