A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my husband for many years but graduallyI've got less and less attracted to him physically. I haven't actually fancied him for ages and now I don't feel right when he touches me, I just tense up.We have kids so I'm having real trouble deciding if I should put up with my feelings or get out of the marriage.I've already had one affair.There are other issues as with any marriage and the sex was never that great, but I just want to feel physical again!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 November 2010):
No affairs! They degrade you, and they make it appear like you can't face up to problems. Also, every time you have an affair, you run a risk of being found out. And if you get found out, you'll carry the blame no matter what problems there were in the marriage. Worse, your kids might find out. So no more affairs.
Next, perhaps look at the marriage and think about whether it's worth spicing things up, getting counselling or whatever. You said you wanted to be physical, so look into that. Tell your husband you feel like you're stuck in a rut, and make an effort with him before throwing in the towel. It would be tragic to throw away what seems to be a marriage that just needs a large kick. Give it a time limit, say 6 months, and see if you feel differently. If you don't, then end it.
But please, no more affairs. If you get caught, you'll carry the blame in the eyes of your husband and children. That's something you don't want.
A
male
reader, pup1234 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 hi, my wife stoped fancying me as well, and 9 weeks ago told me she did not love me any more,and she was seeing some else. i was a mess and still am, i moved away and made it so she could not contact
me, but someone gave her my new number and she text me yesterday wanting to get back together,iv not replyed
i still love and miss her, i cry ever day, but i know i will never trust her again
please be shaw you know what you are doing, talk to him let him know that you are not happy and spend some time apart, try not to date anyone for a while, the grass is not all ways greener, i will never take her back, what ever you do i wish you luck tim x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Having an affair is certainly not a solution, just a temporary fix. Maybe you should seek some help to finding out why you are feeling this way and what you can do to find that spark again. You may be in the beginning stages of menapause, maybe you are depressed... rule out physical things first. Maybe you have both gotten into an old and worn out routine and need to spice things up in your lives and re-discover each other to bring that attraction back again.
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