A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've following your website for quite sometime now and honestly I could relate in anyways. I have problem myself regarding my long time relationship. It's been making me confuse on what to do. My boyfriend has been showing signs of coldness sometimes but there are times he shows me affection. It all started when he have to move to a far place because of his job. We only see each other once every 2 weeks since were both busy working. I even suspected him of cheating w/c made him very mad at me. I have made very bad decision that almost ended our relationship. I don't want to end it since I don't want to be with another guy anymore. I admit I always nag him and I always make decisions for both of us. He told me that if I continue acting this way he might as well live me than be with me and suffer. He ask me to buy him some time to think and I should do the same. He said that if I'm ready to change and make it better then he take me again and have things the way it is before. I feel very unhappy seems like he always blame me for everything and on why this is all happening. I need to know what is the right thing to do. Should I let him go or do as what he ask me to do even if I'm doing anything wrong??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for those who answered... It's nice to know that somehow I could still hold on to what we have.. I know he still loves me since he have given me too many chances to make it up to him for the times that I nag him or don't listen to him at all... Makes me feel better now!
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Hi,
Long distances relationship are hard to make it work. Its takes a lot of patience and dedication. But, if you really love him, besides the fact that you miss him, it shouldn't be a problem.
You said you see each other once in two weeks? Maybe the lack of spending time together is making you more sensitive? You have to understand that he's human too. If you miss being with him, I am sure he feels the same.
Also, you said yourself that you're controlling and nags? Well, put yourself in his situation? How would you feel if he was doing this to you? Nobody likes to be told, or have somebody always complaining and being negative.
He moved because of his job, so he's alone and not happy. Away from family, friends and YOU (his girlfriend). Its hard enough. When he calls you and talks to you, he wants to hear a positive, supportive, loving girlfriend.
You also said he was being cold at times? So you ask if he was cheating? You did the right thing, because you're his girlfriend and when something is bothering you, you have the right to ask and know. (That's what couples do, when there's a problem, they talk and solve the issues). He said no, and that should be the end of it. You have to trusy him, unless you have any proof...
Change for him? Nobody should ever change for anybody. They should love you and accept the way you're. But in your case, how about if you give him a break, stop being negative and arguing with him every time you talk to him or see him.
If you are a wonderful, caring, loving, specially supportive girlfriend, he would love to call you more often, try to make more time for you... Its very easy if you think about it and hopefully it will make sense to you...
I am sure he loves you and he wants to make this relationship work, otherwise he wouldn't even bother to talk to you, nevertheless argue... The fact that he accepts your arguments and still with you shows he still cares for you.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Sounds to me like he thinks that you are controlling on deciding what you guys do and that you don't trust him very much to accuse him of treating.
Relationships are supposed to work both ways, give him some space, let him make some decisions for himself before making them for him and you definately need to stop nagging so much, that's probably one of the things guys hate most.
Just try to relax a bit more and just go with the flow.
Good luck.
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