A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up three weeks ago, and I've been through all the crying and sulking and now I know that I need to just focus on my self. I am getting better, less irrational and hopeless. Our relationship was great, and we were both right together, it just seems like time got in the way. We didn't have any fights, or cheating or anything negative, we had a lot of fun together and we trusted each other. He said he saw a future with me, but didn't know if he could give me the love I deserved right now. He told me it wasn't because of another girl, and that he needed time to figure some stuff out in his life. Then he said he wants to "keep the friendship" that we had, not necessarily be friends, because we've crossed that line already. He added that he didn't want me to wait around for him,and he didn't want to give me a false hope, yet "if it had been a few years in the future he would be interested in rekindling things." Which at first really confused me, that he told me not to wait, but then I realized how mush he respected me and truly loved me if he was willing to let me go so it would be easier for me. I believe that if he didn't care he would have wanted to string me along, like a few other guys have done before. He said its been the hardest decision he's ever made, and he thought it over for weeks, arguing with him self, because he didn't want to loose me yet he felt like something in his life wasn't right. After thinking it over, I know that he's still fairly young(24) and I know that he didn't lie to me about any of it, simply because he has never lied to me. If the timing was different I believe he would be interested. Most people on the internet write and have told me to move on. And all of the friends and family who knew both of us, have said that its ok to wait and believe strongly he will come back in time. So is waiting ( by not dating anyone else) wrong, if what you feel you shared was true love? I don't mean not doing anything with my life, and being sad and pathetic, just waiting for him to figure out whatever it is he thinks he has to figure out. Also I haven't talked to him since the breakup, purposefully. I told him I needed some time and I believe he's trying to respect the boundary I put up, so as not to hurt me.Should I keep the door of communication open with him?.... I mean his mom and I have to see each other every week at a social club we both belong to, and we've talked since then,although it was a bit awkward.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 May 2016):
 If it was me I would not wait around for anybody, I have done that in the past and well it did not have a good outcome. Yes you love him, but sweetie if he loved you he would figure out whatever it is he needs to figure out with you by his side. If he is okay to let go of the relationship then you should as well. You may wait around for him and find out in a couple of months or a year that he has found someone else, then you will feel a lot worse than you do now because you have wasted time.
Now I am not telling you to go out and start dating. Take time to yourself, enjoy time with friends. My advice would be not to be friends with him. In my honest opinion he doesn't want you as his girlfriend he wants to see what is out there, but he is also scared that he might not find someone better and he wants to keep you in the background in case he needs a back up. Sweetie you should never be someones second choice.
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (16 May 2016):
 Whatever he needed to figure out in life, he could have done it with you around. Apparently, what he had to figure out is how to get rid of you yet string you along. And he did that: you no longer have him yet still have his "friendship" and hope he will come to you.
You should not fall for such man-tricks. You maybe heart broken but he isn't and that should be sufficient for you to go through time and forget that guy.
Don't be held hostage by him neither. He is past, and you need to look at future. If you are mentally prepared to date, then date, and see what these other guys are all about. Someone better is out there.
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