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Should I keep my distance or try to reconnect?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2016)
A male United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I'm 19 years old. I've been friends with this girl for a long time (Sense my sophomore year of high school). She means the world to me and care for her deeply. We listen to each other and we had fun together going on walks and hanging out. She was (and still kinda is) a huge part of my life; which is why I've fallen for her. Last year I told her I liked her. She said she liked me too, she wanted to think about it first. A few months later, she tells me she doesn't like me like that. Of course I was devastated, but I still wanted to try and stay her friend. But every time I was around her, talking or texting her I feel upset because I wanted to be more. It became too much and I just stopped talking to her. I just thought maybe I'd get over her if I distance myself and maybe we could go back to the way things were. But she still goes through my mind and I get jealous when I see her with other guys. I want to be with her whether it be as her boyfriend or her friend but if I'm just her friend idk if I'll be able to take the pain I felt when I was around her. Should I continue keeping my distance or should I try and reconnect with her?

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A female reader, BlondeBabe x United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2016):

BlondeBabe x agony auntHey there lovie,

they say time is the greatest healer and honestly, it truly is. This situation, as hard and as difficult as it will be, just needs time. Right now, you will be suffering the feelings of a break up because you have lost someone that was such a big part of your life. Because of this, I think you will do so much better just to take a step back from it and for now, keep your distance. It's going to be tough, but take each day as it comes and remember that it will be okay.

Personally, I am great believer in that if something is meant to be then one day it will be. But, for now, I don't think it is the right time. Emotions are very raw and even though you say you just want to be close to her in any capacity, you will know yourself that if you still have those feelings just being her friend will not be enough. If you were to try and reconnect just now, in the long run more damage could be done.

If there is ever a moment were you are able to rekindle a relationship you will know yourself that it is the right time. But it will be when you know longer feel jealousy and negative emotions.

Trust your own instincts and take care of yourself.

Best wishes xox

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (1 August 2016):

llifton agony auntKeep your distance. If you reconnect with her, the same pain and jealousy will inevitably come right back. I would steer clear and do my best to move on. You will eventually meet someone new and move on. Having her in your life will only make that much harder. Good luck.

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