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Should I go back on Facebook?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2013)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I used to be on Facebook and closed my account about 3 years ago, looking back i can say i did it because I didn't feel it was my thing, but at the same time I could see the advantages of having easy access to people that you wouldn't necessarily go out of your way to have contact with. Three year ago I was going through some major life changes and found Facebook a unnecessary distraction and found myself being frustrated with the people on there. Now three years on I am in a better place, as am anticipating whether or not to go back on Facebook. I feel like I am missing out on something and opportunities are being passed by because I am not on there, for example I am single and have been for the last 4 years, i hear how people meet each other on Facebook, by accident or intentionally and i like the networking aspect and alerts about events. i am interested in any opinions about whether it is worth joining the bandwagon this late in the game or is it no big deal and let it pass?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2013):

Facebook is the last place you should go if you are looking at it as being single and looking to find someone.

Facebook is awesome for connecting with friends and family from near and far. Pages that interest you...for example I am into fitness so I enjoy getting a lot of feeds from those pages. I narrow down the garbage I don't want, block all the game requests or statuses with their game updates, etc. I can ask a question and typically get an answer within minutes if I am not finding what I am looking for on a search engine lol. I visit daily. I do not keep my profile public. Oh no...every troll, loser and bottom feeder creep comes out of the woodwork. No thanks. They just look at pictures and friend request until someone bites. yuck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2013):

I find Facebook very useful and these days it has a million options on how private everything you have on it is, you can also now hide people from your news feed without getting rid of them. You can also select to only see important things they post like birthdays, engagements etc.

The beauty of it is you can engage it in whatever way you please. I even have an app on my phone that places all my friends birthdays into my calendar from facebook, all the important events I'm invited to, and even the events of bars, concert venues, movies theatres I'm friends with or have liked on Facebook.

I don't use it for chatting, people pretty much don't message me on it or post stuff to me on it anymore. But I do get to see their new kids, congratulate them on their latest achievement, get their new number when they lose their phone, help them with an issue they ask for their friends advice on, etc.

I think where people have a problem with it OP is when they don't know how to filter out the bullshit or bullshit people. Used correctly it can be a great tool but people get too emotionally attached to it for strange reason, or they get jealous of other people's lives, where they went on holiday or they allow themselves to be pestered by a guy, bullied by assholes or worried what people think about what they posted or are too self conscious.

Why not try it out again and decide for yourself? It's not like you can't delete your profile again if you don't like it. Instead of us telling you how it's useful or not to us, why not see if it will have value to you?

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (28 June 2013):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI use facebook to keep in touch with friends and family who live all over the country and overseas. I don't use it for dating purposes, so my profile's privacy settings are quite high, and the people on my friends list are people that I know. Occasionally I'll get a friend request from a random stranger, but I don't really like sharing my private photos and information with strangers, so I don't accept. I'm a bit worried about identity theft, so my profile is not visible to the public, only to the people on my friends list.

If you are going to use this forum for dating purposes, just be mindful of the kind of information you are sharing with the public. Not everyone can be trusted. That being said, I know a few couples who got together because of facebook, so you might be just as lucky:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2013):

I am "only" on Facebook to connect with family and friends, who I might not otherwise be able to get a hold of on the phone.

This will sound petty, lame and a bit jealous but no one ever really responds to my posts or likes them so I don't make the effort anymore. It's hard when I see other family members get 30 or up to a 100 likes on an updated profile photo. I've been basically ignored. I've come to the conclusion that I have better things to do in my life than sit and Facebook people. I figure if they "really" want to get in touch with me, they know where I live.

I'll check in daily and see what others have posted and some post a lot, I feel more for the attention of others. I feel it can get addicting.

It's easy to look up people and I have tracked down old boyfriends, but I would never send a friend request because I am engaged. One old boyfriend tracked down me and told me I was his first love.

It can get dicey and be a slippery slope in the relationship area. Facebook has caused affairs and busted up marriages as another aunt has said here.

If you want to go back on Facebook I would do it with caution.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 June 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI deleted my Facebook because some people got way to annoying with their constant lame unimportant updates and crap, I just personally didn't see the point. Instead I call/e-mail those whom I like to keep in touch with.

Would I have a Facebook if I was single? I don't know, I can see the advantage, but on the other hand, I would hate if people though it was a way to "get" to know me and therefore not making a "real" effort in reality.

Why not try it and see how it goes? It's not like you can't delete it again, right?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntI really love being on Facebook as it's a handy tool for keeping in touch with your family (mine live all over the country) I also have a lot of my work friends on there too but I never add anyone I don't know.

I love looking at all the wedding and new baby pics and chatting to some of my old school friends.

That said, I think people get addicted to it and cannot seem to go an hour without checking in, which I think is a bit weird. The whole phone app thing has people connected 24/7 and I guess other things do suffer. I don't own a smart phone so the only time I use FB is for an hour or two in the evening (which I think is plenty)

I am sure people are tempted to reconnect with old flames and admirers from the past, but you only have to read a few posts here on DC to discover that it often leads to trouble. People tend to pry and stalk, they make assumptions based on the merest of information and it can lead to affairs and marriage break ups.

As for meeting new people, I am not sure how that works on FB, perhaps some of the other aunts could tell you!

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