A
female
age
26-29,
*olliepopprincess
writes:My boyrfriend and i have been off and on for the last year, we have had about 3 break ups. 4 months after we first got together he hit me at school and left a bruise on my face. my parents decided that i had to break up with him. so i did as my parents wished and end our relashionship. we got back together behind my parents back for 3 months and 3 weeks ago i have just ended it. he's always flirting and touching my best friends. arguing with me over silly things. takes me for granted. telling me how nice other girls are. saying really nasty things to put me down and i have been in pain for the last 3 weeks as i love him dearly!.. my friend and i got together yesterday to hang out since we havnt seen each other in a while. as i walked along to hers i saw my ex was with her (theyre just friends, she has a boyfriend herself) and for the whole day he ignored me. when i got home i noticed i had a few new messages. they were from him. he basically still loves me, misses me, wished he kissed me that day etc ... i told him , being the fool i am that i still love him and now i dont know what to do. should i do what my heart tells me and get back with him? or should i do what my heads telling me and stay away as i know it'll end badly again and i'll get hurt? so confused and really need some help, thankyou. much appreciated. xxxxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 Beat him to the punch and dump his a$$!!!!
A
female
reader, lolliepopprincess +, writes (8 April 2010):
lolliepopprincess is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheya. its me again. id just like to say a big thankyou to everyone who answered my question. yo have given me alot to think about and i will take on board everything each one of you has said.
update....he now told me he doesn't know if he loves me. i'm slowly starting to realise, hes no good. its my time to get a move on. xx
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
He hit you once, that should have been your wake up call. When a person is abusive the hitting will happen more often and more harder. Domestic violence is unacceptable so you should listen to your head and run. You are already getting physical and emotional abuse why tolerate more. I don't think you should keep him close or that you should pursued a friendship with him my advise to you is to leave it as a bad experience in your past and move on.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 See "head and heart" are very fatal dichotomy, popularized by enemy of philosophy. Generally feelings are attributed to heart, and intellect to head. But, reality is different. Feeling {heart} is function of mind, and knowing {intellect} is also function of the mind. Both are function of mind only. So, do not confused your self between head and heart. But trust your own mind, and evaluate him correctly on the basis of his 'choice'. If he do not choose to respect you...means, there is little hope of happiness. What he choose to, to deal with you, is most important matter. Trust your knowing, and shape up your feeling, according to your knowing. Make firm judgment and give him 'notice', that you are counting his behavior and you will decide accordingly. If he is serious about relationship, than he will improve and not, he will not choose to reconsider.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Ah, the head or the heart, I don't think we still truely know which one is better. Obviously as we all know the head is normaly the smarter option. In many cases, people choose the heart.
You have to remember, the heart has no brain, it only has emotions so all you can feel is love for him in your heart. The head has NO emotions, so it's telling you what is best for you, it doesn't care how bad you are going to hurt after because it doesn't feel nothing for him.
In your case, you will be 100% better off choosing the head in my opinion. He hasn't treated you with the tiniest bit respect and he doesn't apreciate you. Drop him and listen to your parents! He doesn't deserve you.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Sometimes, its better to follow your head, instead of your heart. Especially if your in danger. Get out, this relationship is no good, you get physically hurt and mentally why prolong the pain?? You could do soo much better
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Better to listen to your head because it can make a better decision than the heart.
He does not know how to appreciate and love you . He has a lot of growing up to do.
Find someone who is more matured and who can appreciate you for what you are.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (7 April 2010):
 No matter what age you both are, there is absoloutly no excuse for hitting. You may feel you love him, but he does not love you.
Your being used and even if you got back involved with him and stayed with him then your relationship is very unlikley to improve down the line.
When a guy truly loves a girl / woman he wants what is best for her, he puts her first, he does things for her, he accepts her for who she is and never puts her down, he protects her, he communicates with her, he respects and appreciates her.
So from that you can clearly see he does not really love you. You should think a bit longer before going back to him, maybe even find someone else who appreciates you more.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): He hit you and puts you down; this guy is abusive. You need to follow your parents' advice and leave him alone. If you don't you're setting yourself up for a lot of hurt and possibly a lifetime of abusive relationships.
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