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*enj agony aunt


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Scared of rejection

Q.   I am 14 years old and i am very scared of rejection, I have never directly asked out a girl but I am an ok looking guy but I am not particularly popular. however I seem to be attracted to girls that are out of my league not just because of their ...

A.   18 February 2011: Being rejected is part of life, it happens sometimes. It's a case of if you don't try you will never know. Looks are good in a girl, but personality will count for a lot more than looks alone. Confidence comes from inner strength, if you... (read in full...)

My wife feels bad about the fact that she had sex with another man before she met me me....for just one minute!

Q.   My wife had sex before she met one time only for a minute or so and she thinks that she is not pure enough for me now. I was a virgin and she by technical terms is not since a penis pentrated her. It bothered me at first but now I feel lucky ...

A.   16 February 2011: Thats how a lot of relationships just are, either one or both partners have been sexually active before meeting each other. Unless she told you she was a virgin and now feels guilty for lying theres no real big issue. Just tell her it's you she... (read in full...)

Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend?

Q.   Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend? Personality as in being more assertive, more sexy or just overall more "loving" to them even though you have been doing just fine since your relationship kicked off. Just a si...

A.   4 February 2011: From a guys point of view I wouldn’t want a woman to change her personality for me. Personality is what makes the person, changing it is just putting on a false image and you can’t get to know each other properly. My girlfriend has picked up li... (read in full...)

Which one is better? To love or be loved?

Q.   My bf is an egoist person. He always asks me to stay online 24 hours for him. And always said that i must reply his chats. If i late reply 1 or 2 mins, he will get angry. He never allows me to attend someone's call when i chat with him. While he...

A.   31 January 2011: Sorry to say but your better off without him. From what you say he is obviously is a very insecure and immature person with deep trust issues. He wants to control you this is really no good for a loving relationship and it will not really ... (read in full...)

How do we make our dog accept the new puppy?

Q.   I have a 10 year old American Bulldog. We recently added a puppy to the family and our older dog is very depressed and angry. Any suggestions on how to make him accept the new addition?...

A.   26 January 2011: Bring the new puppy in but still make a fuss of your older dog. If you give all attention to the new one the older dog is not going to be happy.... (read in full...)

Regaining trust after its been lost?

Q.   How can I regain total trust for my boyfriend, after hes broken it?...

A.   13 January 2011: Time and effort from both sides. It depends on what he has done to loose your trust and if your willing to forgive him.... (read in full...)

Is it normal that my fiance's mother still talks to his ex girlfriends?

Q.   I'd like to know a simple thing. Is it normal for my mother in law to still insist on talking to my fiance's exes? Because I find it bizaare. For me, once an ex is an ex, they are that exactly an EX part of my life, none existant. I cut them out of ...

A.   13 January 2011: I guess it can be normal yes, although a bit bizzare. One of my ex girlfriends mother still emails me from time to time to ask how I am getting on. Dont let it ruin what you have with your fiance now. Just hope she doesnt invite them round... (read in full...)

Is this all normal behavior during sex?

Q.   Im in a new relationship and recently had sex with this man for the first time, during the act he spoke out about what he was seeing ie youve opened your legs wide for me, he shouted out on 3 occasions while looking away "fuckoff" as if to someone ...

A.   4 January 2011: No its not normal. Sounds like he has some fantacy or other issues. Be very careful.... (read in full...)

Do I risk telling my client that he has extremely bad breath?

Q.   it feels so mean to having to ask this, but how can I handle it? I have a great client, he provides me with a continuous stream of research work. He's well mannered, always a gentleman. When I've finished the research i get it all ready, and I drop ...

A.   23 December 2010: Its not really your position to tell your customers they have bad breath, I think it would be an un-wise move. It depends if you have an excellent rapport with him then offer him a breath mint or something he might get the hint if you constant... (read in full...)

Is this lack of communication during the day, and seeing each other only once a week normal?

Q.   Hey, guys.. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5years. I'm 25 and he's 35. Ever since we got together, there's one thing that really bugs me. his habit of not calling. OK lemme make it simple: 1. He never texts or calls from morning til...

A.   21 December 2010: Whilst it can be normal to only meet once a week, it does sound strange there is no other communication throughout the week, such as lunch time or after work. Even if its a quick phone call or text. I guess you need to ask yourself if this is ... (read in full...)

Dating it because I am too pushy and afraid to be happy?

Q.   I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 27, as I wanted to focus on my education. The first one was a LDR, but that didn't last because , even though I did go and see her, when I came back down, she decided to cheat on me. The second one...

A.   13 December 2010: Sounds like you had a lucky eascape with 1 and 2. There will be someone out there for you, if you start a relationship just take it easy, theres no rush for anything spend time getting to know each other. Dont spend all your spare time with her... (read in full...)

How do I break up with him?

Q.   My parents knew that i was going out with this guy and they requested me to break up with him..The problem is,i don't know how to break up with him without upsetting him..If i don't break up with him,it will be forever in my conscience,and ...

A.   13 December 2010: The best way to go about it is to be honest with him, tell him strait and your reasons why you can’t see him anymore. When a relationship ends some one gets hurt unfortunately that’s life and sometimes it takes us where we don’t want to go.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend boring in bed

Q.   Well my boyfriend is kind of boring in bed. i think he is not into using fingers and all that stuff. he just goes straight to it, and i find it boring when we are together. i dont know what to do help....

A.   2 December 2010: Its up to you then to tell him what to do. Foreplay comes more natural the more times its done. If he doesnt want to satisfy you and just wants to see to his own feelings then he doesnt love you.... (read in full...)

How can I be sure its ok to do this?

Q.   How can I be sure it's okay to pull my foreskin below my glans? I've got a tight foreskin but now it's not so tight anymore. When it's not erected, it's not so hard to pull it down but i never went below the glans yet because i'm scared I won't be ...

A.   1 December 2010: If it pulls down when not erect then it will return. It may be painful at first. Try using some lubrication when you try it. If its still causing you pain or problems go and see your doctor.... (read in full...)

When did I conceive?

Q.   I need to work ou the date i concieved i had sex on 15th 17th and 20th Novemeber the 1st day of my period was 1st November and my cycle varies from 31 days to 36 is there any way of knowing?...

A.   30 November 2010: First Day of Last Menstrual Period: November 1, 2010 Probable Date of Ovulation: November 15, 2010 Possible Dates of Conception: November 11 to November 19, 2010 Due Date: August 8, 2011 (40 weeks) Good Luck! ... (read in full...)

How do I stop this crush I have? I've already got a girlfriend!

Q.   I think I have a crush on my friend and I have a girlfriend, how do I kill my crush on her? =(....

A.   26 November 2010: Remove yourself from the situation, do other activities to take your mind off her. Maybe you have problems in your current relationship causing you to look elsewhere? If you truly love your current girlfriend then dont go there with your crush.... (read in full...)

Gift ideas for our first Christmas together?

Q.   hi.. im 15 my boyfriend is 17 and i want to get him something for our 1st christmas together but i have no clue what to get him... what do i get him? ...(background) hes emo but not... if that makes sense... we are hiding from my mom... ...

A.   26 November 2010: Maybe a Tee shirt or similar but make sure you know his fashion taste. A hand made card from yourself with a personal note to him. A framed photo of you to him. Just some ideas.... (read in full...)

Is it normal to still feel scared of your parents when you've been on your own?

Q.   Hi, my bf and I really want a baby - his family are thrilled whereas mine think I'll be throwing my life away if I get pregnant. I'm 20, my partners 21. I'm too scared to start trying because of my parents reaction. My mum said she wouldn't be ...

A.   25 November 2010: It depends on the type of people your parents are. Normally I would say there looking out for you and concider you too young to be starting a family. At the end of the day its your life, your above the age of consent and its your choice not your... (read in full...)

She has a boyfriend and I don't want to come between them...but I love her. What should I do?

Q.   Hi i have a situation, i've had feelings for this girl for 10 years (yea i knw its a lot), (we went to the same school thu :( ) but i haven't told her about my feelings yet, anyways i have been getting close to her lately but she acts to be ...

A.   24 November 2010: If you love her then dont ruin her current relationship. You have done all you can by making your feelings known, just let it go and try and find someone else to be in love with.... (read in full...)

Should I just give up and move on now?

Q.   so I called my gf several times and she never answered. So I went to investigate turns out she has been on tiny chat the past 5 hrs with some oher guy. Then she finnaly picked up and I asked her about that, she told me they werent flirting,...

A.   24 November 2010: I think you already have answer to this one. Just stop contacting her and move on to find someone who appreciated you for who you are. Good Luck!... (read in full...)

He always used to text me and wanted to spend time with me, now suddenly it has stopped!

Q.   if hubby always texts and want to spend time with you then stops doing that..what would you think? he tells me he dont care what i do cause if im gonna do it then i will....

A.   18 November 2010: It sounds like he is upset with something, maybe your not listening to him? or he thinks your cheating. You should have a talk with him and find out what the problem is, if its not too late then it can maybe be fixed. Communication... (read in full...)

Pregnant to my 23 year old boyfriend, should I tell him? I think he wont want the baby!

Q.   im eighteen and still in school and am planing on coming back for year thirteen but i have a huge problem. im in a relationship with my maori teacher 23 yrs old and we have been together for one year now. and now few weeks ago he told me that his ...

A.   11 November 2010: I think you should tell him, he does have a right to know. Tell him when your both alone together, he may need time to take it in. You and him can decide together about your options.... (read in full...)

Nervous. First time haging out alone.

Q.   I'm hanging out with this guy I really like next weekend...and I'm wondering what I should do. Hes my friend...and we've hung out before...but this is our first time hanging out alone... I'm not sure what I should wear... or any flirting techni...

A.   11 November 2010: Just be yourself. It depends on where he is taking you as to what to wear. If your just hanging out then casual clothes are ok. Keep conversation, sound interested in what he has to say (if you are). Dont feel obliged to do anything your no... (read in full...)

How do you know......

Q.   How do you know if he/she is "The One?"...

A.   11 November 2010: Quite simply it takes time. Use as much time as you both need to find out. It will show in her actions toward you and your actions toward her.... (read in full...)

Is confidence really important to guys?

Q.   Hey, just a quick question, is confidence really important to guys? Cause i've heard that guys are more attracted to confident girls, but im really shy and I haven't had a boyfriend in ages. How can i be more confident around guys? And is confidence ...

A.   9 November 2010: It depends on the guy. For myself I like a girl to have some confidence, but not overdone. I do make exceptions for a girl being shy in the beginning because I am like that myself. I open up more as time goes on. Conversation is a great way t... (read in full...)

How can I help myself move on from a heartbreak?

Q.   I fell in love for the first time with a girl which i actually fell in love at first sight. she eventually became my girlfriend and we had our ups and downs in our relationship. but i always forgive her no matter what. She was my first love of my ...

A.   9 November 2010: It takes time to get over but for me the easiest way to move on is start dating again and have a good time. You never know you may meet someone else who appreciates you more. Just dont jump in with both feet first, wait a while even if you do l... (read in full...)

LDR, when we do see each other he goes so fast during sex!

Q.   Hi, whenever I meet my boyfriend during the week days and we have sex, I don't enjoy it bcos he comes within just 2mins and I don't even get to climax. Though if we make out on weekends I enjoy it and it lasts longer. The problem here is we are on a ...

A.   5 November 2010: Providing there is no medical reason or he doenst suffer from premature ejeculation no its probably not true. Hes putting his own needs before yours which is selfish. Whenever I make love to my girlfriend I always make sure she has an orgasm b... (read in full...)

Is "true love" just a myth?

Q.   Dear Cupid Is true love exist? Is it really stupid to believe that one day we'll find our true love or soul mate? What if we find soul mate but the other person (soul mate) doesnt acknowledge it? Thanks in advance for your answers...

A.   5 November 2010: Yes true love does exist but dont expect it to happen overnight. Love takes time to grow.... (read in full...)

Is staying in touch after the break up wise?

Q.   I have recently split from my boyfriend of almost four months. Things were going well, but like all relationships, there were flaws. However, since the split, we both miss each other and feel that we ended too soon. At the beginning, we decided to ...

A.   5 November 2010: In my humble opinion no its not wise. It will affect future relationships.... (read in full...)

4 days of not eating - what should I try and eat that I will be able to stomach?

Q.   I have been ill for a number of days now, I have been to my doctors twice and also to the hospital. They have all sent me home. They did various tests on me and found nothing at all is wrong, that I just need rest. I had been throwing up quit...

A.   5 November 2010: It sounds like it could be trapped wind which can be caused for a whole number of reasons. Go to your chemist and ask them about a product called deflatien made by Rennie. Check with the chemist if your taking other medicines. Its important... (read in full...)

He said to his ex he "needs to get out of this place" referring to living with me! What should I do?

Q.   I was being nosy on my boyfriends phone and found one between an ex gf he had a very long time ago...she asked if he was still living with that chick (me) his response was "yes unfortunately I gotta get out of this place i ain't get much younger" i ...

A.   5 November 2010: If he loves you he shouldnt be talking anything with her. Ask him if he thinks anything of you would he stop contacting her. While hes talking to her, shes not going to go away.... (read in full...)

We had a first date set up but then he got injured, when should I ask him out again?

Q.   I have this friend i kind of like... hes my friends friend and he likes me too and we had a(first) date set up. Unfortunately, he got his shoulder badly injured and had to have surgery. Should I wait until he's recovered completely and ask him out ...

A.   5 November 2010: I would wait a while, if he is interested in you then he will call you when hes feeling up to it. If he hasnt got back within 2 months then just move on.... (read in full...)

We have agreed to meet up soon, but what is bothering me is I do not know his name nor have his number!

Q.   Hi, Hope someone can help me out with this one or advise me at least..... For two years I have been talking to this guy online we are both the same age mid twenties and have everything in common. We met through a chatroom and talked to the sam...

A.   5 November 2010: I find it very strange you have been chatting for 2 years and dont know his name at least. Just make if and when you do meet tell someone where your going and meet in a public place and dont go off with him unless your 100% sure hes genuine.... (read in full...)

He's seeing someone 2 weeks later!

Q.   I broke up with my b/f one month ago due his really bad temper. He has never hit me, but will break and throw things when he gets mad. Sometimes over trivial things. I knew it was best for me to leave him, which of course he threw a fit when I did. ...

A.   5 November 2010: It may be he already knew this someone before you split up or hes in a rebound relationship. You did great to get the courrage to walk away from your relationship with him. Your still feeling that way because you still love him. Give it time,... (read in full...)

Husband says he doesn't have the urge to have sex anymore

Q.   I have been with my husband not even a year we were married in july of this year. when we first got together he would do it with me 3 or 4 times a day now that were married he says he dont feel the urge to have sex anymore we may have sex now 1 ...

A.   4 November 2010: How long were you together before you got married? I ask this because it can play an important part in a relationship. It could be other issues such as stress etc... Have a sit down talk with him and try and resolve the issues. If you both keep... (read in full...)

Boyfriend google searching other girls, I am dumbfounded

Q.   Dear Cupids, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 11 months. We see eachother around two or three nights a week due to our conflicting work schedules. He is a sweet, loving and loyal man for the most part. The only time we argue...

A.   3 November 2010: What you should remember is there is a big difference between looking and touching. Most guys will have had some sort of fantasy some time in their life. Just because he is looking doesnt mean he comitted to you. He may be telling you the truth ab... (read in full...)

Why do women sometimes not answer when you call or text them?

Q.   Alright, this is beginning to annoy me. Alright, so I'm a good looking dude, funny, and I can sing really well too. I get girls phone numbers and then when you call them they don't answer? What is up with that? Why give someone your number then not ...

A.   3 November 2010: Could be lots of reasons, maybe they are busy? Don’t recognize the number so doesn’t answer? Playing hard to get? Remember you and don’t want to chat? Don’t leave it too long to phone them after they give you their number, wait 1 - 2 day... (read in full...)

Airports new "feel you up" measure is crossing the lines!

Q.   ok. who was watching cnn this morning? airports are bringing in some new security measures and its getting personal. i watched (on cnn) an employee run her hand between and right under a female passengers breasts. they touch your butt and quickly ...

A.   29 October 2010: From what I have observed some airports take it more serious than others. Flying from the UK for example is very easy compared say flying from Logan, Boston. I do think that US airports take it far more serious than europe, but events such as ... (read in full...)

I don't like my gf's guy friend, but I don't want to overreact . Help!

Q.   I'm feeling jealous. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and for the past 3 months our relationship has been long distance. I will be visiting her in about a month. When we weren't apart, it was obvious that one of her male ...

A.   28 October 2010: He either thinks he has a chance with her or he is trying to protect her. Just bring up the subject and ask if he has said anything to her about you, if she says no then just tell her about the instances where he was rude to you. It may just b... (read in full...)

Why won't my boyfriend Fench Kiss me?

Q.   I've been seeing my boyfriend for eleven months, we have a great relationship, very much in love, great sex life. We love foreplay, sex, oral sex (both for me and him). We're so close but there's one thing he will not do and that is French Kiss. ...

A.   28 October 2010: Your right it does get better with practice, it may well just be him thinking he is no good at it or as he says he doesnt like it, not everyone does. Maybe you should try and take the lead?... (read in full...)

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