A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello my ex- fiancé and I broke up 7 months ago. We’re together for about two years! He moved to another country because he is in the military. Anyway to make things easier I blocked him off of all social media, phone etc. Today he emailed me! All he said was “ I hope your doing well and taking care of yourself”. He has my email because a few years back I helped him with his school work. I have had my email for over 7 years I do not want to delete it because of him. I do not know what to do now!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2019): You can delete the emails, block/avert them to spam; or just change your email address.
You've asked a great question! I'm going to use it as a platform! Not only for you; but other people in your predicament.
I will be bluntly honest. We get dozens, if not hundreds, of posts from people upset by social media contact from exes or unfriended-individuals.
Blocking and deleting is your best remedy for unwanted contact. Complain to site security, and make a formal-complaint when you are being harassed. Some social media sites offer instructions on how to avoid phishing and unwanted contact. They'll even walk you through it. You have a dashboard that tells you how to change your password, remove contacts, block contacts, and select your inbox messaging. Acquaint yourself with it, or ask someone with tech savvy.
You have to learn to resist the temptation to answer calls, open emails; and responding to unwanted text messages. Sometimes you have to change your phone number and be more selective with relatives and friends you offer the new number. If they don't like you giving-out their personal-contact information to Lottie-Dottie and anybody; then insist that if you have to change it again, they won't get an update. Especially naive well-meaning parents or relatives; who think they're helping by giving-out info you don't want them to offer without your permission. Tell them not to, they may not know any better.
You're an adult, and you can't stop the world from finding you in a world of high-technology. People will find a way to contact you one way or another. Like weeding the garden of an invasive weed; you keep plucking them out and yanking them up until you gain control of them.
It's not really his contact that is bothering you so much; it is your inability to resist reading his emails. People lack what's called "self-discipline" and "impulse-control." Addiction to social media and collecting a million contacts will open you up to all sorts of ads and unwanted searches from people you don't want to hear from. Exposure to exes and enemies stalking your postings or messages. Knowing your every move; because you're so dang popular and exposed to the public!
In addition to blocking and deleting; you have to take control over your thoughts and actions. Employ maturity and discernment. Stop letting your whims, reflexes, and curiosity be the boss of you! You don't have to overreact to every discomfort that comes your way. Let a few things roll-off your back! He's living in another country; so distance gives you all the advantage. Be courageous! Tell him to get lost! Mean it! Stop reacting emotionally, and fearing to offend him; because you're more afraid that he might actually stop!!! The drama queen reaction might seem girlish and fragile; but it grows pretty old after awhile! You'll get on your own nerves! Toughen-up! Set your boundaries and enforce them!
Sometimes you have to grow a thicker-skin. Grow-up and weather the storm; until you grow some strength and immunity to onslaughts of unwanted contact, or people showing-up at your door unexpectedly. The door doesn't open, unless you open it! If you feel threatened, you call the police.
In instances of domestic-violence and abuse; you have to bring law-enforcement into the situation. Even if you get what seems to be nonchalance or a slow-response from them. You must repeatedly nag them; until they get sick of your emergency-calls and take them seriously! In the military, contact his commanding officer; or military security police headquarters.
Don't cry "wolf!" If you call them, and they come, follow-through. Don't send them away and get your bum beaten to a pulp; or cower somewhere in a corner hoping not to piss someone off. You have a chance to be safe, so take it.
Law enforcement takes responsibility, and they have to do their jobs; once you have a repeated-record of comp1aints and calls for help. Yet they've handled them poorly. Then contact the mayor's office, or reach-out to your city counsel; and report any failure to protect you in cases of domestic abuse, persistent exes who harass you, or former-friends, relatives, and contacts who try to intimidate you.
If anything happens to you or someone you care about, because of police-incompetence; file complaints and lawsuits. In extreme cases; even consider civil-action against a police department or sheriff's department that are consistently laxed on reports of domestic violence and threats.
Show the same muster and vengeance as people who go out of their way to get a snooty customer service representative fired! Use the same resolve and persistence. Persistence pays-off!
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (9 June 2019):
Figure out how to use the block feature on your email
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 June 2019):
 Depending on WHAT kind of e-mail you have you can set it up so any e-mails from HIS account goes straight in the trash.
Or you can simply DELETE any e-mail you receive from him without reading them. YOU don't HAVE to read them or reply to them.
Unless he was abusive or you fear him, I really wouldn't delete the e-mail account.
BUT you CAN delete the e-mail and make a new one just remember to save the contacts you DO want to continue to contact you.
Unfortunately, when a soldier serve in the military they can't always control WHERE they get stationed. It comes down to their MOS, rank and where they are needed. That is life.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (9 June 2019):
 If you are that upset by that email then you should go ahead and delete the account. He can make a new email account 7 times a tay if he wants too.
If it was me, I'd wait a month. with no replies to any communication from him. See if he gets bored and moves on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2019): You cannot block people off of email!
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (9 June 2019):
 Block him?
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