A
male
age
26-29,
*urt234
writes:Okay so normally I know it's not a good idea. But the problem is I've noticed this trend in my girlfriend. At around the beginning of every month (usually around the 5th), She completly ignores me I'm talking she doesn't have any contact with me and will maybe say like 3 words the whole day with this distant look in her eye. The rest of the month she is this peppy amazing caring girl. But I dread the beginning of the month because she basically pushes me as far away from her as possible. So I'm wondering, should I confront her and ask her if it's her period that's making her act this way? Or is that like overstepping some boundary?
View related questions:
period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): Some girls don't mind, they seem to announce it to everyone anyway, but if she hasn't told you, then don't ask just in case she will be offended!
A
male
reader, Kurt234 +, writes (3 September 2012):
Kurt234 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright so I asked her if she was feeling okay and if i could do anything to help. She said she's not okay and wants to be left alone, so I shall respect her wishes and leave her alone! Thank you for informing me not to ask her about her period everyone....that would have probably blown up in my face! I just care about her alot an got lost in those thoughts to think how that might be slightly insulting. Thant you everyone!
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 I wouldn't mention it while she is on her period but when it has passed and she is back to her normal self. I wouldn't mind being asked at all, apparently the only female who wouldn't. But since she is so distant that would be a bad time to ask because she will be in a bad mood already when she answers. So when she is her normal self ask her what's up with the distant attitude and mood at the beginning of each month? It's so unlike you. And go from there. You don't need to outright ask if it's her period.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kurt234 +, writes (3 September 2012):
Kurt234 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone For helping me dodge that train wreck! I'm coming up with an alternative way to ask now and I'll let you know how it goes!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 September 2012):
 I agree with the other ladies do NOT NOT ask her, it's honestly slightly offensive. Women lives may seem like the revolve around their periods, but really, they don't.
Instead, you could ask her how come it seems like she doesn't want to spend time every now and then.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Welcome to the aspect of a mans world that is "figuring out a women" :/
She's on her period most likely if its roughly the same time each month. But as for asking her, umm... Maybe not if you want your head to remain firmly attached to your neck lol.
Just put it down to her time of the month and go along with her during that time, and do nothing to annoy or irritate her, you can't go wrong then.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 September 2012):
 I agree! Do *not* under any circumstances ask her whether her period is to blame for her moods, not if you want to keep her!
Instead of trying to guess and diagnose why she's feeling this way, you should ask her what's wrong. Of course, you'll have to get past her knee jerk "I'm fine" and be specific about how you're feeling. Tell her that she's an incredible person, but it feels like every beginning of the month, she becomes distant and you feel ignored. Then leave it to her to explain why, or if she's unconscious about doing it, she'll make a better effort at recognizing this.
If she loves you too, she doesn't want to do anything that hurts you. It's possible she doesn't realize that when she becomes moody, it's hard for you to take. Do *not* try to figure it out for her, and asking her if she's on her period will blow the whole thing up on you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Well I can only speak from a personal perspective - but I would find it very off-putting if a guy asked this.
I would prefer a more tactful approach whereby the guy is diplomatic and tactful and does not ask.
But just accepts that for a certain time he may need to enlist every bit of sensitivity and empathy he can muster.
A while back I was part of a Science study (I volunteered to be part of it) where we were all tested twice a month. Once during and once not during our period for a whole range of things. They discovered that we were more sensitive to some odours among other things. Just accept that it may well be hormones and that she is not quite herself.
She may not even want touch at this time.
without mentioning the P word perhaps acknowledge that you have noticed that she is a little 'down' and ask what she would like you to do, anything that she thinks might make her feel a little better?
Now the answer may be to "leave me alone"
And if that is the case back away.
But she may even appreciate a back rub, or a foot massage.
Maybe even her favourite ice cream.
Listen to her. She will likely know what might help.
without any mention of the P word too.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Hey, maybe you should not ask her this directly, if she acts this way toward you, maybe it makes her feel uneasy knowing you around her , and her body during this period. You could ask her why she acts this way, and since you have some clue, she might confirm it, or say something else. It is not easy for every girl to talk about such thing , and even less with a boy, even if she is all peppy and full of energy and fun, this might make her uneasy. Take it slow, unless she is mean and disrespectful, give her this space during the month, with time, she will feel more confident.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Dont ask her. Since being on your period makes you tired, irritable, and emotional, she will probably take it the wrong way and feel like you're judging her.
Instead, suggest you two cuddle up for a movie, and then after when you're feeling close, remind her that if there's anything on her mind, you want to know because you care about her. Then tell her you've been feeling like she's distant some weeks, and close to you others. Tell her you want to feel close to her all the time, and this kind of hurts your feelings. Dont mention the period.
See what she has to say. She may say she has it then. She may not. Maybe it has nothing to do with her period. Maybe she's stressed about something. Just tell her you dont like feeling distant.
...............................
|
