A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im a female I live in the us and ive made out with my cousin a couple of times and maybe have sucked his Dick but mine and his grand ma adopted his mom so were only related by adoption and I think I wanna take it to the next level I'm fifteen and hes fourteen he is trying to persuade me to is that insest how would that affect us relationship wise? please help
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Yes, Legally you are definitely related.
As soon as a person is legally adopted they and their descendants all become LEGALLY part of the family they were adopted into.
So for instance if the grandmother died then he would be able to put up his hand as one of her next of kin.
So yes, if you are too closely related LEGALLY even if you do not share blood ties (though you still could share blood ties as well - depending on the circumstances of the adoption) then yes, depending on the closeness it could well be INCEST.
Talk to your parents to discover more about his mother's biological parents. His mother may well be more closely related than you realise.
It is not unusual for people to adopt a child who is biologically part of the family - and they want the child to stay in the family.
Here is a common scenario: (may not apply to your situation - but is an example to explain what is meant by a legally adopted child, who is also a biological relative of the person who adopted the child))
For example:
A son gets a girl pregnant, does not want to stand by the girl. The son's mother becomes aware of the pregnancy. The girl wants to put the child up for adoption. The son's mother steps in and requests to adopt the resulting child.
The child really is a grand-child of the woman who adopts the child.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 September 2012):
If you are not blood-related it is not incest. Even if you were, in many countries relationships with cousins are, in fact, legal anyway. So legally there’s no issue, morally everyone may take their own view, some members of your family might feel uncomfortable about it because they would see the two of you as relatives even though this is not the case by blood so you’ll have to think about how you would deal with this. By the way, what’s the next level? If sex, regardless of the cousins issue, you’re way too young and that really would be inappropriate. At your ages it sounds like it’s already gone too far. You shouldn’t be persuading each other to take the sexual relationship further.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): thank u this has helped me a lot to understand but I don't really live close to him we only made out like 2or3 times before I don't agree with some of the opinions but thanx for that help
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 September 2012):
 I'm willing to bet if you went to your moms who are sisters with this question they would be horrified.
Clearly you guys have grown up together and are rationalizing this blooming sexual experience you are having as being OK....
I'm sorry it's not. And I won't be afraid to say something here.... In some states first cousins can legally marry... so that's not the issue... the issue is that you guys are wanting to totally disregard what you know to be a social issue....
your moms will be upset
your grandmom will be upset
the dads will be angry... especially your dad... (daddys are like that about daughters no matter your age)
your brothers and sisters will make fun of you and be horrified...they will tell their friends who will whisper to their friends... and then the next thing you know the WHOLE school knows.....
a teacher hears about it and calls CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES... and poof your entire family now is listed as causing CHILD endangerment.... (do not think it won't happen I know it does... I saw it happen)... the parents had to put all the kids in counseling and go to meetings for years...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): I'm not sure its actual incest, but as stated earlier there's another way of viewing incest other than the 'being related via the same blood line' way.
You two don't exist together to have sexual relations, you exist together to be family, and some people will be disgusted in the idea of you two being together intimately. I'd imagine especially other family members.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 There are two ways of talking about incest. Biologically it means a blood relationship which could be a problem for offspring. That isn't an issue in the case of adoption. Socially it means that families have a problem with it. That's what you're dealing with. If your family decides it's a bad idea, you're going to have to persuade them otherwise.
The other issue is that you're both underage. Incest or not, what you're doing is most likely illegal where you live. So going to the next level is a very bad idea.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 September 2012):
 hi
I dont know about incest, but in the UK the Law says your both under age.I don't know if its the same in US
Stop every kind of sexual contact if it is..
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