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Should I believe that he wants me for more than just sex?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2013)
A female Malaysia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I am from Malaysia.

I met a Persian guy online. We talked for few days and he came to meet me up. I kinda like him and we were in love fast, till now its like a month we are together. I dont know him well, yesterday I was asking him about his past and he told me he had sex with his ex gfs on the 1st and 2nd dates. Also he thought that he coould have sex with me and we will maintain as friends. But he changed his mind when he first met me (face to face). I feel awful after knowing that he sees me as a fuck buddy as first. I got mad at myself I feel I am stupid. I had a 3 years relationship with another International and it ended up badly, i was broken all over. Now i am having so much doucbt on this guy eventhough he told me a million times he loves me and i am different from any other girls. Till now we havent had sex because he said he didnt want to lose me and if he s with me just because of sex he could have left me on the first few dates, but now its been a month he is still with me and telling me he is so sorry he hurt me, he wants me to forgive and believe in him. I am confused. Should i?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, fuck buddy, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2013):

Hi there. I am the one who posted the question. Sorry I didnt explain well enough about my situation now. He is in Malaysia right now, we see each other like once every 2 days. So far he didnt push for sex, but touching yes. He will stop touching if i insist a NO. He s been telling me he will not go back to Iran, he doesnt likes staying there. Its either he will make an effort to stay in Malaysia or to European countries ( he s a student here). I am now skeptical towards what he said because i had a 3 years rship with another middle eastern guy and he said the same thing to me which is he will not leave me and he ll love me forever. But end up he went back to his own country and not seeing me forever.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (29 October 2013):

I believe that he may actually like you for you, but it's hard to tell. If you wait a little longer you'll be able to find out. A month isn't that long, especially if you haven't been face to face for much of that time.

Why are you into long distance relationships? You had bad luck before, shouldn't that tell you something?

What will happen if you guys fall more and more in love? Will you move to his country and date him? Wouldn't moving in with him be a bad idea if you've barely met in person?

It's hard to hide your true self in person, online it's pretty easy.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 October 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntshould you what? have sex with him... I vote NO... his history is shady, your emotions are extended and you are LDR

do not have sex with him... if that's all he wants you will now soon enough..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2013):

Is he pushing for sex ? From what I read he isn't . He made a fraudulent slip ( as he told you something he shoulda kept to himself ) and you though omg that how he views us..

Well at the minute, his actions say to me that he is willing to wait and he does view you differently .. Now it is early days so please do not jump into bed with him .. But let him keep proving himself to you . Lol lol taking you out, keeping in contact and maybe maybe this will work out real well..

I believe in fairy tales don't we have too .. Keep our spirits high so our souls may sour. ..

If he presses for sex then the time but if you be dating a year and I mean physically seeing him ??? And you feel ready then that's okey ..

Take care sweetie x

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