A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 22 and my boyfriends 23 we have been together for four years when we first got together we were having sex all the time but now its like he doesn't want to have sex with me ive tried sexy outfits and he just turns around and says what the point your gonna get naked anyway. He doesn't like trying new sexual things in the bedroom but I want to spice it up. When I talk to him about trying kinky sex he doesn't really give me an answer. Im starting to think he doesn't find me sexually attractive. Could you please give me some advice? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (29 October 2013):
I have some suggestions for spicing things up. I don't know either of you so they may be something you already do, or not, so it's up to you if you heed my advice.
First of all, I'd try to be more spontaneous. I know my wife gets bored of "its bed time, in approximately 5 minutes my husband is going to touch my butt then we're going to have sex."
So, maybe when you're alone you could stop him by putting your hand on his chest then kiss him and go down on him wherever you are. Then you could have sex standing up.
Or maybe while he's on the couch you could straddle him and make out then have sex.
Sometimes it's easier to get someone to try something different while you're having sex. Since he's already horny he's more likely to be receptive.
Also, if you don't talk dirty you should give that a try.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 October 2013):
Well, I'm not sure of a solution, but as fatherly advice said, it's very common for women to assume it's because they're no longer attractive.
There's absolutely no reason to assume it's this, so don't convince yourself that's the problem.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (29 October 2013):
 It is typical of women to think that they are not attractive when this kind of situation develops. There could be many other reasons. Stress, distraction, porn, infidelity or just plain low sex drive. The situation is that you are past the honeymoon and headed for a sexually starved relationship.
You have tried the visual and mental attractants, I think it's time to appeal to his logic. You need to set him down and explain your situation to him. It should go something like this: I need more sex than I am getting in order to be happy. I know that you don't need as much as I do, but you are capable of giving me more than I am getting. I have asked you many times for more. You say you love me but insist on denying me the thing that would bring me happiness. It is hard for me to believe that you care for me when you do not try to keep me happy. Do you think it is logical that I would stay in a relationship where I don't feel loved or happy?
Very often in a sex starved relationship the withholding partner does not realize that there is a problem. They do not see that the whole relationship is in danger. Telling him once will not likely be enough. He will need reminders frequently. especially when he ignores you or turns away. You will need to say, Hey I need this!
It may also help to look into what might be causing this. At his age it seems unusual.
FA
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