A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm finding it hard to deal with my fiances relationship with his ex girlfriend. Their breakup was amicable and they are still friends, she lives in another country and doesn't come over here very often. I feel really insecure because she was the love of his life and he still has loads of things from her in his room, photos, letters, little bits and bobs which he doesn't want to throw away. Do men keep hold of stuff like that for a reason or am I looking too much into things?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 Yes men do hang on to mementos that are connected to their exess. Most of them are more sentimental than they'd like for us to know about. Since his ex doesn't even live in the same country, I wouldn't worry too much about her anymore. But ask him to take down all the little tokens, and put them in a box in the closet or attic so he can still keep them, but you don't have to see them every day (and neither does he).That will probably do alot to help you feel like he's living in the present, not the past. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Unique1  +, writes (20 August 2007):
personally, it would bother me too. I never had a bf that kept all that from his exes. My last bf had college graduation pics where his ex (love of his life) happened to be. They dated a the time. At first i asked him to delite pics she was in but that he said that is unreasonable as they were group pics. Later i realize that and he said he delited pics of just them two.I wouldn't want my bf to have all those little things your bf still keeps and my bf wouldn't want me to have it either. That is just my relatonship though. Your might be different and many people wouldn't have a problem with it. You need to think how YOU feel about i and if it bothers you a lot what is the reason he wont give that up for you?Think aobut that
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (20 August 2007):
 I don't think you should be too worried that they are still friends especially if she lives in a different country, but if the personal possessions are upsetting for you to see around then maybe you could try telling him this, just explain that you understand that he does not want to get rid of these things but could he maybe box them and put them away.
I know when i started seeing my husband he had pictures and letters from his ex that he kept, as soon as we moved in together they were binned and never brought into our house.
Take care.xx.
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