A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in love with a guy and every time I see him im heart stops but im not sure how to read if he likes me.I have known him for 8 years now his ex step daughter and my daughter are friends we both stay in the same street when I see him he always gives me a really lovely smile and he lingers so that we will start to talk.Then when we do he always stares at me our daughters go to the same club and he gives me a lift home and I always sit behind him and I catch him looking at me in the mirrorHe's always asking me questions about me and when I was in the garden the other day he came home and he gave me a wave and that sweet smile but he stood for about 3 mins and just looked at me.he has previously touched my arm and he is driving me crazy im just so shy and im scared to say anything just in case im reading to much in the wrong way please help me thankyou
View related questions:
his ex, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2015): Since your daughter and his ex-step-daughter are friends, you have a built-in excuse to invite the man over for coffee and a slice of cake. Perhaps he hasn't made a move; because you're probably stiff, and a little creepy when he gets too close. If you're getting your signals crossed; he's seems like too much of a gentlemen, to rudely reject you or embarrass you.
Some guys have a very subtle or cautious approach; because the last signal they want to send to a woman who has been single for a very long time, is that he's available. That initiates all sorts of flirty (if not desperate) behavior that can be very uncomfortable; if he just happens to like the woman, but isn't attracted to her in the way she wants him to be. Trust me, if a guy really has his sites on you; he's going to make that clear. He will ask you out. A male divorcee isn't that shy with women. They don't have cause to play games and send mixed-signals. They're either interested, or they're not.
I feel this gentlemen is being polite and doesn't really have much romantic interest. He treats you like a lady, and he has respect for you as a woman. That can easily be misconstrued as romantic-interest. Rather than crushing like a school-girl, woman-up. Ask the guy over to sit on the porch and have coffee or tea. Chat for as long as he is willing to offer the time, and as long as conversation easily flows. If nothing else, you will have made a wonderful friend and male companion. Just because he's single and male; doesn't always mean he's seeking a girlfriend. Nor does that make him commitment-phobic. If only women could understand that more about men. He may find you a lovely woman, but not a woman he wishes to connect romantically.
I guess YOU have to test the waters. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Crushes are for kids. Adults don't play childish-games. Use your feminine charms and mystique to your advantage. Set the stage and see what comes of it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 April 2015):
 I wouldn't "declare" my crush or feelings. Maybe ask him in for a cup of tea or down to the pub one afternoon for a meal/drink. It will SHOW him that you are interested without making things awkward.
If he is interested he'll find a way to be less "obscure" like asking you out on a REAL date. For now and from what you write I don't really see anything that makes me think:" OMG he is head over heels for this lady!!"
If he is HAPPY with status quo he will most likely decline and never mention it again. And hopefully you two will continue as polite acquaintances.
...............................
|
