A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner is a monster with drink in him. I am not saying he is an alcoholic, as everytime i bring up the subject with him he says im not an alcoholic, so and so drinks more than me. But im not SAYING he is an alcoholic, what I am saying is this:the slightest drop of drink changes him into a nasty man, who I despise. I honestly dont love him when he's drinking. He says the most hurtful things to me. I have tried talking to my mum about it but she just said leave him alone, he works hard all week and is entitled to a drink. But i wouldnt mind at all if it didnt make him so nasty! I was for leaving him this time last year. He promised to stop, and he did for a long time. I am now three months pregnant, and hes started again. I am terrified of having a child with him. I have even considered a termination. How can I leave him with his child on the way?
View related questions:
alcoholic Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): Hi thereGet all the support you can to get as far away as possible from this man. Abusive men often get more abusive once children are in the picture because they think you are less likely to leave them now. This has got to be incredibly hard for you, especially as your Mum doesn't support you. Is there another family member or a friend you can turn to?Is there a charity for abused women in your country or area? You do not have to have been hit to be taken very seriously as a victim of abuse. Alcohol actually has very little to do with abuse. You say it only takes a very small amount to set him off. He may use it as an excuse for his behaviour, but alcohol doesn't create an abuser and sobriety doesn't cure abuse. Whatever he does regarding his drinking, don't think the abuse will stop and please, set in motion whatever you need to do to separate yourself from him.A little word though, I'm sure you're aware that you will now probably have to have dealings with him concerning the child you are having together, which is a shame as it makes life more difficult for you. I don't know what the laws are in your country, but in the UK and the US, unless there are very good reasons why not, the father will have rights to see his child on a regular basis.I don't blame you for being terrified about having a child with him, your inner voice is telling you how it's going to be if you don't leave. Put whatever wheels in motion you need to, to protect yourself. Find someone who will help you. Good luck and God bless and please remember this lesson for the future. Take a long time before you trust someone enough to make a life with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2015): From experience people who drink are alcoholic s to a certain extent because they become dependent on the feeling I know because I use to drink so heavy until it started making me lose weight. I couldn't eat my body refused food.But your boyfriend needs help because you don't want him to physically hurt u or the baby.I would leave for the sake of the baby don't look back.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2015): "How can I leave him with his child on the way?"
How can you stay with him with YOUR child on the way?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 April 2015):
 I am a new member of Al-anon. It has saved my life.
I strongly urge you to contact Al-anon http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
which is a great program for friends and families of alcoholics.
If he's NASTY when he drinks (and even if he drinks ONCE a week but can't control himself he's got an alcohol problem) then he will be nasty to you and YOUR CHILD... it's not fair to bring a child into this world with an abusive parent.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and he will just get worse and worse and worse as time goes on.
If you stay you will be subjecting your CHILD to this abuse. I can't tell YOU what to do for yourself but I can ask you to please leave him so that your child is safe.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2015): Umm, he IS an alcoholic (no matter the amount he drinks) IF he can not control himself and does nasty stuff.
HE's also ABUSIVE. Just leave. Get out.
Termination or no termination-l-e-a-v-e.
Before your mum has to buy flowers for your grave...
PS: Once you're away from him,really far away, and he is truly out of your life, THEN think if you want to keep HIS baby or if you want it to be "your baby". I don't think he will be in the picture... Even if he CAN be, he SHOULDN'T be.
If he is nasty and abusive to you, do you honestly think he won't be the same to his/your child???
...............................
|
