A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just started going out with this girl. I met her out one night and after about a week we got together and now we're seeing each other.Apparently she's never had a boyfriend before and because of this she is super grippy!!! I mean the 2 day of us going out she sent me a text and ended it with love you. Yesterday she said it seemed like she hadn't seen me in ages and I'd seen her the last night and that I had to go see her tomorrow because she would miss me.She is nice but I really don't want a proper serious relationship. She's going to uni in September plus I already kinda miss being single. When I go out I can't have fun and mess around with my mates because she's always on my arm.I've met her mum and dad they all seem very nice but how can I let her down and tell her this is not what I want. I was the one who asked her out but I didn't me or her to be like this.Any help would be great.Thank you!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, yuridesu  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 if you really like this girl
care for her properly !
you cant just like a girl, get tired of her and throw her away.
show some respect and treat her well, if you really cant see a relationship between you two, break it off gently by being friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Some of us not so confident girls tend to be clingy, thats waht i was like until i lost the man of my life what she has to realize is that you need your guy timeAlso mayve you should sit her down and convince her that she needs some of her time alone doing the stuff that she likes as well as you.Try a trial period, she should learn that you somtimes need space,and she does to you dont have to do everything together and she is not the be all and end all of your life if it dosent work, shes not ready for change
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Don't dump her, that will do more damage than you know. Just do as the anonymous answerer suggested and explain carefully (and gently) that you need your own space and not to be crowded.
You can agree to have your together time and your "mates" time and I'm sure she will accept, if the alternative is not seeing you at all.
And September is not far away to have to tolerate an eager companion, surely?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 A bright spot in this situation is that she will be learning a lesson that will help her in all her future relationships. It most likely will be a painful lesson but that's not something you can do anything about. Just be as kind and gentle as you can.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): You have to understand that this is her first relationship so she is going to be excited and giddy and wanting to see you/ring you/text you all the time. However that's not what you want right? So rather than dumping her, why not TALK to her about it? Why not say you like her and want to spend time with her but want to take things slowly? If things don't improve and you still feel smothered, end it.
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