| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half, and we are happy. Unfortunately, there is one thing that I really can't stand, and that is her jealousy. I'm 20 years old and have been offered to be a tutor for my college, and here is where the trouble begins. I ran this by my girlfriend and oh boy! She blew up at me. I told her it would look good on my resume and I could use the extra cash she just said in a sarcastic way, "you don't care what I think, you will do it anyway so you may as well." Wow! I was so confused. Well after some more talking she said that she "doesn't want me in that kind of environment with other women." What is up with this? Advice?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 She's confusing because she's nuts. I think you lucked out.
A
female
reader, Weramazing  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 Whatever you do do not chase after her. Either she will realise you are not chasing her and will come to her senses and change or she will
not come back and continue to be a stubborn and controlling type of girl. Move on you are so much more then
this who wants to spend the rest of their life unhappy because of there girlfriends controlling ways. This won't last unless she changes so just have your space and do your own thing. Is she comes back only take her back if she agrees to change it will take her time it won't happen over night but after 2- 3 weeks if you still don't see enough change then don't waste anymore time. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, brigid.imagine  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Everybody gets jealous- but in this case i can't see much of a reason to spark that reaction on.
Your girlfriend must have some major insecurity issues- which unfortunately she needs to sort out herself, it's just unfortunate that this has impacted on your relationship.
Talk to her about why you love her, and why you trust her. Hopefully it should give her a stage to start giving you some real insight into her feelings about trust. Maybe she was cheated on in the past?
I hope you can overcome this! Goodluck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk well most of the day has gone by and I went ahead and tried to talk to her about how I feel about her jealousy and that I'm not taking the job to see other women, I'm doing it to beef up my resume and get some money. Right after I asked her why she felt jealous (because I honestly have never done anything to lose her trust,) and she said "I'm not jealous, but I still don't want you to take the job. I told her that that I do not understand what the big deal is then. She then proceeded to stomp off and text me that she doesn't understand why I want to take the job when she doesn't want me to. I said I can't just pass up on an opportunity like this. She was not understanding at all and said "it's over," just like that, over text! (She has also threatened to break-up with me more times than I can count if she doesnt get something from me that she thinks she needs, I believe she uses it as leverage so I usually just ignore the threat.) However, I think this one is for real, who knows? She is so confusing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Weramazing +, writes (4 March 2010):
Don't leave her over this. Talk to her tell her that this is not how you want your relationship to be, there is absolutly nothing wrong with you wanting to tutor, good for you.However she is very insecure, reassure she has nothing to worry about but tell her she needs to change as she is too controlling and you won't last in this relationship being controlled by her. Talk to her calmly and be totally real with her tell her all the things she does you find controlling or possessive. Then give her time if she still doesn't change her ways then move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kittywhirl  +, writes (4 March 2010):
I think for this kind of female behaviour there are 2 posibilities:1, The female brain reason. If we assume for a moment that your gf is in other ways a generally sane and nice gf... perhaps that special female part of the head that makes ideas is to blame for this... perhaps to her there is some major issue within your relationship that causes her to mistrust you. While you may think that your relationship is great... perhaps she feels neglected? Overlooked.. etc. These sort of feelings can lead to irrational female jealousy. If we feel we are not getting the attention and love we deserve, we become a lot more posessive and less willing to let you guys within range of female claws. I think its worth taking a look at your relationship from an outside (female) perspective, before you write off your gf as a green eyed jealousy monster2, However... if you honestly believe theres no issue that could need work on, and that youre doing your part as well as you can, perhaps its time to think whether shes the one. Perhaps first try talking again about how this job would be important.. stress this as the driving factor, and the serious motives, and ultimatly, if she cant accept it, then it may be time to say goodbye.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 March 2010):
This is the sort of woman to avoid. She's actually telling you not to take up a job. If I were you, I wouldn't hang around. I'd leave. Imagine what happens when you get a job and have to work late one night, or need to be in a meeting with other women. Seriously, this will get well out of hand and you'll end up leaving anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, nessabarela505 +, writes (4 March 2010):
First of all don't ever do what your partner want you to do or be of do what makes you happy because when you are content you make people around you happy including your partner and if she is not happy with your wish and progress to put yourself out there it's a sign that maybe she might not have strong feelings for you. Over her jealousy try to win her trust obviously there is none for whatever reason. Tell her constantly that you love her and that your happy in the realtionship show her as well. Never compliment other woman if you have don't do it again your hurting her feelings if anything. Talk to her about her jelousy in a calm situation where it's just one on one and that your getting tired of her jealousy and you want to work things out with her because you really love her. Give her time to see her reaction to see if she truly wants to change for the better for the sake of the relationship...if she does not change I'd think it'd be better for you to leave her your young and someone will love you and be happy for you with all your success and not have insecurities of the relationship. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 March 2010):
Run Forest Run
...............................
|
