A
male
age
36-40,
*hetorical
writes:Hi there! I have a question about a girl at work. She's been working here for 2 years or so I believe. Well, to start it out - I grew attracted to her when she started working here. However I never took the initiative to ask her out! We flirted a lot, and I felt she liked me as well. I'm not experienced with relationships or have my phd on womenology, but I felt she gave me many openings to ask her out. I never did, as I didn't have "my own place" at the time. Just when I was "ready", I got her a gift on her b-day and was ready to ask the big Q! Not marriage.. the dating Q! But apparently another co-worker got to her first! They were in the chatting stage, so I didn't interfere. It's been months now, and apparently they have a "casual" relationship? Like, he's 30 something, her just turned 21. I have no hard feelings towards anyones, I feel stupid though cause I never asked her out in the first place. Here's my question - do I have "permission" to ask her out as of now? Or even tell her all of my feelings? I don't know if there are any guy rules. I just want to take the right route here. Thanks for any help! Sorry for the wall of text.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (21 July 2010):
 It seems like you were very passive in this situation. When they were just chatting, you backed off and didn't try for her. Too nice. Even now, let her know how you feel. Then its up to her, maybe she has liked you for awhile too and she too may have been too shy. With her knowing your feelings she could do one of two things:
1. break it off with mr casual dating guy and date you instead
2. she stays with mr casual dating guy and isn't into you or may say you missed your chance
but do you always want to wonder "what if?"
Go get her, tell her how you feel and see what happens. Its a risk and it could go good or bad, but I doubt you want to go through life watching awesome opportunities go by. Take risks, live life and good luck!!!
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