A
male
age
30-35,
*er_zyniker
writes:Ok. I'm gay and I really like this one guy that I hang out with at youth group at our church. We get along really well and we always find something to talk about. I'm going to tell him that I like him, but at the same time I want him to understand that there are no strong feelings involved yet, so if he's not interested or he isn't gay I won't persue him on this topic any more. I just don't want to wait to tell him until there are feelings involved because I developed feelings for one of my other friends and I told him about 8 months ago and he's avoided me since I told him and I became clinicly depressed for a while. I just don't want to go through that again. But does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can tell this one guy that I'm interested, but if he's straight or not interested I won't chase him and we can just be friends.
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male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (17 August 2010):
der_zyniker is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. I have to say somethings to set things up a little. I have abilities such as seeing, hearing, and sensing ghosts. I have premonision and the ability of foresight. I also somethings can read people's thoughts, but that doesn't happen all that often since it's a new ability. However, my abilities have been a little screwed up for a couple of months so they're not quiet working the way they should. Ok so a little while I was talking to him on facebook and he started talking about this girl that he really likes ,but she moved away and he was a little down about that so I thought that he was straight for sure. But about a week ago I had a dream where he came out of the closet. I wasn't sure whether it was a premonission or just a dream that occured because of wishful thinking. So I told him on facebook that I had something that I needed to talk to him about in person. So yesterday I was at youth group with him and after church our group was going to a pool. He gave me a ride and once we got there I told him in the car that I was interested about him. I told him that if he wasn't gay or bi that I was content with just being friends and that I wouldn't pursue this further. He told me that he never felt that way about any guy. I was a little disappointed, but I was more relieve than anything because he didn't seem to be too bothered by this. He actually thanked be for talking to him about this since it avoids problems in the future. This way I can prevent any feelings for him in the future. Afterward we went swimming and we just joked around. Things don't seem to have changed between us which I'm glad. Thank all of you for you advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Maybe invite him to go swimming with you? Just as friends, all very innocent, but also a fantastic way to pick up clues about whether he likes you the same way you like him. If you get signals from him and there's sexual chemistry there, you can hopefully take things further with him.
There's a bit of risk in everything, but if you don't at least TRY to (subtly) chase him, you'll never get your hands on him. Isn't it worth a go? Be discreet, but also be brave.
Hope it works!
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (21 July 2010):
der_zyniker is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem with that is I just told him that I'm gay so it won't be such a shock to him. I wanted to ease him into it, which is a good thing since he as a little shocked to find out that I'm gay. I just don't want to look back on this regreting that I never told him. On top of it I don't love this friend, I'm just attracted to him. If I were to lose him it wouldn't be as bad since I've only know him for about 5 months, not a 2 and a half years like the friend that I love. I'm also fine now. I'm over what happened with my other friend. I told him how I feel about him in November. Right now I just see someone that I really like and I don't want to pass up an oppertunity like him.
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A
male
reader, jp21 +, writes (21 July 2010):
 i would say not to do it. bec.. you were just hurt by another guy and i wouldn't chance it right now. one thing you could do that i just thought of is, ask a friend if you can use there cell thats a girl and knows your gay. just say you want to know if this guy is gay or not and you dont want to roun your fri-ship in the prosses if he is str8. send him a text saying that your a guy and your like him and was wondering if he was gay? and he might send one back saying he is or he isn't.
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