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male
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*rigger
writes: Hello all. OK check this out. I met this girl online just over a month ago. She's called Jane and she's really nice. She goes to church on a weekend and her family are great and they all like me lol. Now she has just come out of a relationship that she has been in for 9 months. She says that its the longest she has been in one. They broke up because he slept with someone in front of her. Anyway I have been over to her house and stopped over like for the last 2 weekends. Now we talk a lil dirty on the phone and that yeah and I thought it was gonnA be a good night friday lol. Anyway NOTHING happened all weekend. Now when we first met it was like we was together, kissing and chatting etc. Anyway now, or this weekend at least I kissed her only like 4 times all weekend. And before I went I only got a quick kis. We live about 40 Min apart by car btw. Yeah and she's just got back from holiday and she's upset she's back because all the shit she has to come back to. Now her best friend's mum just dies and she was at the funeral on Monday and that. She has a lil history of bullying and stuff and its like she has no confidence. I don't understand this coz shes a REALLY gewd lewkin gurl yeah, and Sometimes she acts like she knows it and other times shes like ew no I'm not, I hate myself kinda thing. Anyway Monday night she was talking to her Ex's dad and she's arranged to go out with him on Thursday. Now it could be me but that isnt exactly normal yo? And he's dead flirty with her and he's like in r over his 30's. I been reading on the net and I'm in one of those situations where I am doing everything I can and she shouts I run kinda thing ( Although she don't ask much ) Now I know from experience that backing off would do the trick, but is so damn scared of losing her coz she's so special. When I ask her about her Ex and that, she says it's over and she wouldn't go back to him and that, but seems wierd why she's gonna see his dad Thursday no? Anyway I started to back off today. Normally I text her every day and call her and then chat when we get home. Well I ain't texted her all day and I'm not chatting on MSN ( not that it matters coz shes gone to see her dad ) but i finally got a txt through @ 10Pm sayin "hey hope your ok, im at my dads"And I have not replied. So I wait till about 11 then text back "Yeah ok and you" lol. I hope ya see what I'm trina say here yall, It seems like shes losing interest, and I asked her other night and she said no it's not me and all that and it's her, her head is up her ass and all that shit. So I'm just a lil stuck on what to do at the moment you see, so any advice is welcome ok, ThanxTrigger
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best friend, broke up, confidence, flirt, her ex, kissing, msn, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (7 September 2005):
You know yourself that backing off would do the trick, you might lose her if you don't do it. You could do it really openly not like playin a game or anything, and tell her that it seems like she needs more time after splittin with her ex and that you like her enough that you don't want to be on the rebound. You seem like a really smart guy and I think you're handling this well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2005): Maybe when she is with you she is reminded of her ex. If you give her time and space she will probably pull through, but always let her know that you're there for her. If you back of she will hide from you even more because she will suspect that there's something wrong.
The bottom line is: chill out a bit, but don't back off completely.
Good luck with it!
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A
female
reader, Ms. Heather +, writes (7 September 2005):
First of all it sounds like your relationship is basically on a computer. Maybe if you were to surprise her and take her out somewhere nice, she would realize your not in it just for sex or whatever. Sweep her off her feet, maybe she thinks you're not really in to her. And the thing with her ex's dad, that could be anything, and if she don't tell you about it, then you can't really trust her.
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