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anonymous
writes: Please I need everyone's help on this situation. My problem now is that, I have a girl friend which I truely love, and she told me she really love me and the same time have another guy which she loved as well just like the way she love me, that she will not want to lose me nor the guy she told me about. but now I still catch her with other guys in the town, but now I have ask her how many guys she is going out with, but she told me she can't tell me of them, the thing is that I never want to lose this girl, but she find it difficult to understand me on this, because when I try to advise her she gets mad at me. Please I am really confused, dont know what to do any longer. my question now is that should I let her go on her own or still be with her? please I need everyone help on this.Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Well she is clearly not your girlfriend, nor is she anyones. All these other guys could have written exactly what you did and you are clearly no more special to her than any of the others.
Blow her off for your own good or it will eat away at your own self esteem and you will find it hard to trust anyone in the future leaving your whole future with less potential than it should
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female
reader, Nikita  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Dear Anon,
I think that if she really loved you then she wouldn't be with another guy. She likes you obviously but if you love her then its not enough. if you were completely happy with her seeing other men then there wouldn't be a problem but as its upsetting you and she refuses to stop then I think you have to ask yourself, is she worth all the pain. There are other women out there who would be content with being in a relationship just with you. I know itll hurt but i think you should let her go because you're never going to be happy with this situation. Find someone who will want to be only with you. Hope it works out for you. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): In my opinion I think she is stringing you and all these other guys along, she probably has low esteem and doesnt think one person can love her enough so has to have multiple guys to feel what she needs and if shes not being honest with you now how will you ever trust her if you get her to yourself, I think its for the best if you let her go and try and meet somebody you can trust and gives you back 100%.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 She obviously isn't interested in settling down with one guy. Only you can decide if you are willing to share her attentions, if not then move on. Pretty clear cut to me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): You say she is your girlfriend. But I don't think that is the case! Sure she likes you, but she can't be serious about you. If she's really into you, she'd be forgetting these guys and devoting her time, energy and focus on YOU.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Oops, sorry for the ? marks. They were actually supposed to be Traditional Chinese characters.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): I know there are many interpretations of love, but between a conversation with a friend and I, this is how he defined love:
?? Leemanism.com ?: i was wondering, how do u define love?
?? ?: that's a tough question. my two definitions are based on different factors. one is principle-based and the other is based on intangibles. the one based on principle is what keeps two people together regardless of whatever good or bad fortune they encounter, whereas, the other one is what brings two people together.?? ?:
so, i would define love as a dynamic force that exists in a relationship between two people. because the love they experience in the initial phase may be unexplainable but they know it's there, bbut when they grow old, those feelings change and it's more because of their duty to each other
?? Leemanism.com ?: that's such a good short answer that is reasonable and clear
?? ?: i don't buy that "oh it's that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you see that person" kind of answer
?? Leemanism.com ?: haha
Anyway, with the above said, firstly, what is your interpretation of love, and how do you measure all this as love and not just a deep desire to acquire someone based on lustful feelings?
It's odd how you would ask such an uncanny question. It blatantly seems that she isn't as in love as you think she may be. She might like you a lot, possibly am attracted to you quite a bit, same as these other guys, but for heaven sakes! WAKE UP! This is a very unhealthy relationship for you especially. It shouldn't be so complicated and so diluted.
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