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Condoms are ruining our sex life! What can be done about it?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 December 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2006)
A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi,

Me and my girlfriend are both 20. Shes my first sexual partner and 3 months into our relationship im still getting nervous problems. I always go soft when the condom is brought out. I dont know why! Its really annoying me and even upsetting me as i feel bad, and she gets upset saying it makes her feel unattractive. Which is not true at all!

This doesnt mean we havent had sex. We've been having sex for 2 months now, but unprotected sex (she is on the pill, and yes we've both been checked out for std's etc first) Its just in a few weeks her pill will be over and im scared im going to have 'failures' all the time.

Its not like she doesnt excite me, she does! But unless we get the condom on REALLY quick (and i mean like within a matter of a couple of seconds) it wont happen.

Please help, i shouldnt be getting these problems after 3 months and it upsets me :(

View related questions: condom, sex life, std, the pill, unprotected sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006):

*original poster*

Thanks for the replies.

I dont know, i just get nervous as soon as its about to go on. I sit there litrally praying i'll be ok, but it just doesnt work.

Im just going to relax more, take control a bit more, and see what happens! Thanks all!

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A female reader, forgetmenot +, writes (14 December 2006):

forgetmenot agony auntAlso tell her that it's about the condoms cos just telling her it's not her might leave her thinking that it is until you tell her what it's actually about. Reassuring her of her utter foxyness is always a good thing. Just out of curiosity... is it the idea of the condom or is it the slight break from fun time that's the problem?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (13 December 2006):

TasteofIndia agony auntI agree with the person below you.

Ask her to put it on for you. Just lie on your back, don't even look. Maybe while she's giving you some oral pleasures, or manual goodness, she can just slip it on for you... she can be tricky about you. You probably won't even notice. Just concentrate on what feels good.

Have you both gotten tested? The pill doesn't prevent STDs! Go to your doctor and get cecked. Also, there are other forms of Birth Control. The shot? The patch? The female condom, for that matter? You have plenty of options. The doctor can solve anything!!

Good luck!

xxIndia

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A male reader, Abacadaba United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2006):

Abacadaba agony auntask her maybe to do it while shes playing with you or something like that, so you dont even realise its put on, that could help, tell her to not even tell you anything about it but just put it on you when she wants to, because then you wont know its coming, therefore hopefully stay hard. good luck

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