A
female
age
41-50,
*onelyatthetrailer
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 29 years old woman, divorced with 2 kids. I met this guy almost 3 years ago and after 2 years he confessed me that he was still seeing his exgirlfriend behind my back. He accepted he was wrong and promised to change everything. He told me they never had a sexual relationship and the only reason why they were still talking was because of her daughter which is not his daughter but he loved her like if she was his own. After 10 months now I found out they still talk once in a while, I know they are just friends and I know he loves me but why does he keep talking to her? She calls him every morning when I leave to go work. Most of the time he does not answer but some other times he does. I don't talk to any men or see any men. I am faithful to him. I don't deserve this. Is she going to be a shadow in my life for ever? I have talked to her and she always says they have sex and that they are still in love and seeing each other, he denies everything I have told him how much it hurts me when they talk but he swears they don't talk anymore even though I know they do because I've seen the cell phone bills where it shows they talk. When I confront him he starts yelling at me and has no explanation for anything he says I am imagine things and that I have no business checking his phone bill. Then he tells me that he hopes that now she doesn't start calling him to give him problems because if that happens he is going to be very upset with me. I know he doesn't want problems because he doesn't want to loose her nor me. I don't know what to do. I love him but I feel he has no respect for my feelings. If that was me I would tell her that she needs to stop calling him and texting him because that is causing him problems with his girlfriend and he is not going to loose the woman he loves for her. I don't know I think this is not cool...
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divorce, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, trsmith +, writes (20 January 2010):
Don't feel weak sweetie! Feel strong that you deserve better than what he is giving you! You have to be strong and make a choice! You and I can't let people treat us that way! God made a woman from a mans rib to love, he didn't make the woman out of a mans foot so he can walk all over her!!! Keep your chin up sweetie it will get better!!!
A
female
reader, lonelyatthetrailer +, writes (1 December 2009):
lonelyatthetrailer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your responses. I feel very weak at this moment though. Right now he is not here. He left a couple of days ago to go visit his family and he is coming back today late at night. He already told me he is going out tonight with his friends. After being out of the house for several days, now he is telling me he is going out with his friends??? I think that while he goes out I am going to be packing and I am leaving. He shows no care for my feelings at all... :(
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A
female
reader, trsmith +, writes (29 November 2009):
I agree, Because I am going through the same thing! I had to let it go! I was married to the man we divorced, decided to get back together and then he moved another woman in with him! Now he lies to me and her! I gave her the proof phone records, telephone conversations on a CD. She is still with him! He is has no respect for me or her! He even went to marriage counseling with me while she was living with him!! You need to move on like I am! If she wants him and his lying self she can have him! I divorced my ex because he was cheating! WHAT WAS I THINKING! Your boyfriend wants his cake and eat it to!! If you think that just because he is with you that it will work out? Honey it will not! He is a liar and a cheat and will never change! I had to learn the hard way! I dont want anyone to go through what I have!!
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Pretty simple really. If he's not still plonking her, and the child isn't his, why the hell is he still keeping in contact with a woman who is apparently trying to screw up his new relationship? I'd guess he's using both of you and using the child as an excuse. What a dirtbag! You should both dump him. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): y doesnt he tell her to stop
if he really loves u he should tell that girl to stop
but if u feel tat he wont do anything
u should back out of the relationship
u will just end up getting more pain than u want
if u stay longer
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): sweetheart...he is lying to you, and i think he is sleeping with her. Im sorry but you cant trust a lying man. Mal
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (29 November 2009):
 I think he is playing with you. I don't believe his ex is his ex, I believe they are still sleeping together, I believe you are his "bit on the side". He lies about calling her, so why wouldnt he be lying about sleeping with her?
How do you know that he sometimes doesnt answer her calls after you go to work? This man doesnt care about your feelings, I don't your relationship is going any where fast.
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