A
male
age
36-40,
*man
writes:A week ago, my girlfriend of almost 2 years and I took a "break", which lasted three days. We both sort of agreed to the break after a series of little fights, though I was the main proponent of the break. We both said we love each other and want to be back together.On the day she was to see me again after work, she had lunch with an ex boyfriend--something she told me about long before the break. They hung out together in the past and I trust her to hang out with other guys.I asked her what she would do if he made a move on her, and she said she honestly didn't know but part of her wanted to make out with him to get revenge on me. I told her I would be jealous but I'd still want her back. To be honest it kind of turned me on (in addition to the jealousy) that she might do that. She ended up making out with him, though said it didn't feel right.That evening I finally got to see her again after getting out from work and we immediately hugged and got back together. That night we had great sex and made up. Partly, we both thought, because of the making out she did earlier that day.The next day I nonchalantly asked her why making out was cheating and then said it was okay with me if she made out with guys in the future, as long as she told me about it and did not go further. She said that it was "nice to know", though she disagreed and didn't want me to make out with other girls. I agreed. I also laid out the rules of not with or in front of friend/family.My question is: is there any real reason I shouldn't let her make out with other guys if I don't mind? Are there any precautions I should take against this effecting our relationship negatively?I trust her at her word implicitly; she has always been brutally honest about all things, and I have never detected a hint of her hiding anything from me. While we do fight, we always get back together and we've never stopped loving each other.
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male
reader, aman +, writes (7 September 2010):
aman is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Newbie31, I think you are right that she is not really wanting to make out with anyone else, which is why I would allow her to do it. I also think you are right that it is not the act of making out that turns me on but other things around it, i.e. her being desired, being jealous over her, wanting to punish her being bad, etc.
It isn't an open relationship. It is kissing only... and only her.
It would be more to allow her to have a little fun which would spice up our bedroom. That's the idea anyway.
Thanks for your response!
A
female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (7 September 2010):
 If you love eachother she shouldn't have to make out with anyone except you. It probly turned u on knowing that she wanted to make you jealous, not the fact that she was going to make out with an ex. Allowing eachother to makeout with other people will then turn into more things. Making out leads to other things in the heat of passion, and after a while of having an open relationship there will be no relationship. It doesn't even sound like she really wants to makeout with others, it was just in the moment of confusion.
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