A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So i met this girl at school a few weeks ago and she always acted really shy around me and when i caught her staring she's turn her head away and not look at me. One day i decided to ask her out and she agreed and we later set the date for next monday. Monday came and when i called her and she said she'd forgot and had singing lessons but promised to make it dinner that night instead and that she'd call me. Around 7 that night she did call and said she'd almost be back from her lessons so i asked her if she'd meet me. She then said she wasn't hungry anymore and that we'd have to move it to tomorrow. She finally showed up the next day and everything went really really well in my opinion and when she mentioned a movie she wanted to see i asked her if she wanted to see it with me. She agreed for the saturday after Thanksgiving. Come saturday and when i call she said she had family over who were leaving the next day and that she couldn't that day but still wanted to. One day she randomly textes me from work and mentioned how long and boring her shift was so i suprised her with coffee since i work close by. She asked me to hangout that day but i refused since i was actually legitamately busy. She then asked if i wanted to see that movie we missed last saturday and do it the coming friday which i agreed. That friday night i texted once again and she replies with "i feel really bad but its too cold to hangout or see a movie" so i told her its honestly fine im done. She hasnt even looked or talked to me since then at school, but i like her even though im mostly angry confused. I texted her that i wanted to talk and i'd leave her alone after that. What should i do? Was she ever even interested? Is it my fault?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 She is not interested , and seeing the excuse she gives to cancel dates, either she is totally socially impaired, or she does it on purpose to convey the message that she does not want anything to do with you without having to come out and say it properly .
" Too cold to hang out "?? Well yeah, you are writing from Canada so technically it can be true, but IMO if she liked you... she would wrap herself in seal skins :) and come out and play.
" She is not hungry anymore "? What kind of an excuse is this to cancel a dinner date ?, that's actually being openly rude ! You could have turned it into drinks only or coffee only, after all it was not about the food right ?, it was about spending time together. Or she could have came anyway and just have ordered a glass of wine or a dessert or whatnot while you were consuming your meal.
It sounds that she is a big flake, and / or she wants everything on her conditions anyway. Cut your losses and don't allow her to jerk you around any further.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 December 2013):
 She is a total flake. And no, it's not your fault. She likes you but NOT enough to want to date you.
Could also be that she has anxieties and that is why she keep cancelling.
Either way, I'd skip this girl and move on.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (11 December 2013):
 i hate that sh*t. i can't stand a flake. it's incredibly rude and obnoxious to make plans only to constantly cancel them last minute. i'd be angry, as well, as she's toying with your emotions and wasting your time.
i would move on. she's not worth it and i would say she's probably not that interested. if she was, she certaintly wouldn't be too cold to hang out with you. lol. that's a new one i've never heard before.
when people are interested, they will find time for that person. bottom line. let her go. don't contact her again. and if she attempts to contact you and make plans, just ignore her or let her know you are no longer interested.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 December 2013):
Maybe she likes you and is just a total flake, maybe she doesn't like you but can't admit it.
Either way I'd cut my losses and find someone else.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 December 2013):
 She's not sufficiently interested in you to even be POLITE to you about plans that you (and she) make!!!! What does that tell you????
Don't waste your time with her. Find a girl who is polite (and respectful enough of your time and attentions) that she "shows up" for the dates that you and she make....
Good luck...
P.S. This isn't your "fault"... it's one of HER attributes that happens to be unpleasant and offputting....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): She's not that into you, but she's too polite to just say; sorry it isn't working out. Everyone is overlooking the fact she is too moody. She may also have a mild form of ADHD, and can't be very decisive or stay on track.
Even though she might be a nice person; you're wasting your time. I wouldn't schedule anymore dates. If she happens to call, just tell her that you've tried; but the last-minute changes are inconvenient, and you just don't feel she's really interested. Wish her well, and place her in the friend-zone.
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