A
male
age
41-50,
*issanguy
writes:Well here is the problem. I have been in a serious relationship for 10 years now. Just started going to church. My girlfriend then starts to talking to a preacher who is 28 years old. He has no job and still lives at home with his parents and has never moved out. I am 37 and she is 46. Well anyway she starts hanging out to 1 to 4 in the morning with this guy for almost a month straight. She just told me I should be thankful that she is hanging out in a good christian home. Well anyway she was only making out with this guy before I left. The preacher was kicked out of church for having a relationship with my girlfriend. I left my home to work things out in my head. Well of course she is now seeing this guy on a regular basis. Which is fine with me I have a life and I need to go on. But after a month of being apart she calls me when she gets home at night after being with him she wants me to come over. we sleep together at least five nights a week.(That means both by the way) So here we are broken up but she still says she loves me I spend the night all the time we go out for lunch every day during the week. We work close to each other. So my problem is why this woman is having the best of both and I am letting it happen. Her boyfriend has no idea because he relies on her for transportation so he can not just drop by. So what is my problem and hers. The way I see it she is not cheating on me no more she is cheating on him. But why? What does he give her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 July 2009):
 It's a very perplexing question you've asked. One detail I have to ask: have you talked with her about this? Or is it just happening without any discussion?
It's not a secret to you that she's seeing him as well, right? So why not flat out ask her, "Why do you go out with him?"
I guess you're not walking away because of the sex? Or is it her companionship? All I can say is that if you're spending 5 nights a week with her, those are 5 nights that you could be out meeting women who don't feel the need to have more than one sexual partner hanging around. When you realize that you're wasting your time, that's when you'll call it quits.
Take care!
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