A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has gave me "permission" to sleep about, is this normal?I have been with my partner for 4 years and we have 1 daughter and have been living with each other for 3 years. Now our sex life was fantastic before our daughter came along, now it can be once in a blue moon. I have a high sex-drive and her's is now very low, she says she's not really that interested in sex as much since the birth of our daughter, which I said fair enough. But she has now said that if I am out drinking with my pals and I meet a girl she says that I can sleep with her providing I always come back to her (my g/f). The way she sees it is I just f**k these women whereas I make love to her, and she's rather give a little than lose me altogether.Now I'm sure this would be every guy's dream having a GF with such a liberal view on sex and being allowed to cheat then go home to your partner without a guilty concious but this is very odd to me.For the record I trust her 100% and she has not giving me any indication of her having an affair and using this as a way to clear her concious. Could she be doing this hoping I will do it, only to give her a reason to dump me? there has been no indication that she is unhappy, we are very open with our feelings, so what do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): She might mean what she says however chances are if you did what she suggests she probably wouldn't handle it as well as she is making out - who would!?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): i feel that this is a trial shes saying this because she wants u to say no and she will no u a with her and only her on the other hand she might be saying it so she can sleep around
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): Dont sleep with another women. I think you may suffer reprecussios after. She will respect you more if you wait for her to get her libido back but in the mean time you should help her build her confidence and do not pressure her. She may be affraid to make love again due to giving birth. She may also be so exhausted due to the new baby. Are you helping her at home and supporting her. It sounds as though she does not want to lose you and feel that by giving you permission yo will still be happy to stay with her. Shes needs time time and support at present. Remember that 4 years is a long time to throw away and deep down she is probally testing you to see what is more important to you. (SEX or HER)
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 It does seem a little odd. I'm not convinced she actually for real would like you to be with other girls. My guess is that maybe she is afraid of you leaving her if you don't feel satisfied sexually, and right now she is in a situation where she just can't give this to you. I would also guess that if you would act upon this you might very well ruin your relationship for good. Did you really talk this through? Or is this just something she says out of desperation? She must feel sad about this too, you two not having a sex-life anymore and she feeling it is because of her.My advice to you, if you really love her, is to stay away from other women and to do everything you can to support her. This could be what she needs to find her way back to your previous intimacy. Show her she can trust you, that whatever happens you will stick with her because she is the one you love.Wish you all the best, keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): Talk to her. If you don't think she's cheating then your both fine. But I wouldn't recommend sleeping with other women because in the long run her feelings may be different when she knows you have been doing.It sounds like she really is doing is so she doesn't loose you. Why not try and get your sex life back and show her that she is the only woman you ever want to have sex with. I know she said she doesn't mind but I'm sure she'll feel very happy when you tell her you don't want to cheat on her because it's wrong.Would you like her sleeping with other men? Because this deal could lead to her thinking she's allowed to sleep with them too.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (20 August 2007):
 What is normal?
Everyone is different, personally there is no way on this earth i would tell my husband to go find it elsewhere, i would in fact try to sort the problem i had out.
It is very common for a women to lose their sex drive after a child, as i did we feel crap about our bodies don't feel attractive much and are constantly tired but that usually passes.
How old is your daughter now?
If you are that open about your feelings is it not worth suggesting that you try sex therapy and see if she can get her sex drive back.
Take care.xx.
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