A
male
 ,
*reenman
writes:My g/f of 18 months now says she has lost confidence in or relationship and says she is numb and doesn't know what she wants and feels. We have gone through a bad patch arguing. We are mid 30'sI backed off a bit and didn't hassle for a month but nothing is changing. Now she says maybe we should split' for now'What does 'For now' mean and how should i handle this? Am i just analizing her words too much? should i walk away, back off or what? She wants to keep in touch and will ring me she said.Is she coming back?many thx for any advice
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): If she isn't showing signs of getting back with you pretty quickly (like a week or two since the split) then you can probably assume things are coming to a close. Either now or after a few more on/off bumps before the finish.
And start absorbing the fact that you're single again.
I'm not saying you should go out and find someone else to screw this week. But you will probably be hurt by how quickly she does hook up with someone else. For you this separation is totally news right now, but remember that for her it's not. She probably had to be quietly dissatisfied/confused for a while before taking this step of separation.
A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Just back off for now and don't analyse it. You will only second guess things and you will not be analysing fact. Let it go for now and see what happens. No communication until she does. H.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I'm sorry, but I think she isn't coming back.
She says she has lost confidence in the relationship (that is, in you), is numb and doesn't know what she wants (that is, she doesn't know whether she wants you = she doesn't want you).
And then she says that "maybe" you should split "for now". That is to say, she feels sad and bad about dumping you, and is trying to soften the blow; but she isn't coming back.
Let's suppose I am wrong. Still, the best course of action is to let her decide whether she will return. If she does, great. If she doesn't, great, too, as you two will be free to find happiness elsewhere.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): just let her be. Carry on as normal, don't panic. She's looking for a reaction, just say o.k. and wait. Chances are once she's seen the light she will be back.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I must assume something bad happened between you guys. Did you fool around with someone else? That is something that would make a woman feel like backing off "for now" or possibly forever. It sounds like she's considering this. Give her time to figure out what she wants. She may just be going through some kind of mid-life crisis. Maybe she wants to get married and have kids, you know the clock is tick-tick-ticking. Have you been resistent?....Whatever the case, let her figure it out and see what happens. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou +, writes (19 March 2008):
 It sounds like something has got her in a muddle. She may just want a few days to get her head together and try and understand what she wants.Don't take it personally. I'm sure if she said she will call then she will.Just back off a little back and give her a bit of extra space. Don't ring or text her for a few days and I'm sure you'll be surprised by the results.Hope this helps and good luck.
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