A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex dumped me 10 years ago, and shortly thereafter I started dating a co-worker. I was torn because I thought my ex would accept me no matter what and loved me. Because of him, I felt able to truly be myself for the first time in my life. After he dumped me, I thought all I had done since I met him was meaningless and went back to my previous life of doing what others expected of me. My co-worker and I first decided to be friends, but after he put on more pressure, we began dating, then having sex (I was a virgin, he wasn't) I then convinced myself that I could be happy with anyone, and tried to get my ex out of my mind. This worked pretty well, but I was still very depressed off and on. I married my co-worker 2 years later, and our 8 year wedding anniversary is coming up in June. we have a 3 year old son. This past summer, my ex told me via email that the real reason he dumped me was because he was so incredibly happy at 17, that is scared the crap out of him, so instead of dealing with it, he dumped me. About 6 months ago, my husband ran into my ex and they convinced me to join a local band in which my ex is also involved. I see him once a week, and the feelings of being connected are stronger than ever, I have recently (about 3 months) been taking antidepressents and speaking to a therapist, and still I feel that the only reason I married my husband was because I thought it was the right thing to do. Now my husband (who I have told everything) wants desperatly to make our marriage work, and I just want to leave him for my ex (who I have not spoken any of this with except that my husband and I are having issues). Does anyone have any advice on what I should do???
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anniversary, co-worker, depressed, my ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Great advice from Emmy Lou. I don't think I can add anything to her post.
Emmy-Lou,
I like you.
A
female
reader, michellesays  +, writes (19 March 2008):
i think that everybody always has one true love and no matter how hard we try we can never seem to find them same true feeling like we have with the other relationship. discuss this with your ex before making any big decisions to leave your husband just incase its too much for your ex this time too. remember you have your child to think of now too and sometimes as a mother you have to make the right decision for them aswell as yourself.
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A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou +, writes (19 March 2008):
 My first question is: are you really ready to give up 8 years of marriage just because you have seen your ex a few times?
Secondly: Are you unhappy in your marriage?
If you can honestly answer these, then that should start to guide you in the right direction. You also have to remember that your ex is 10 years older and 10 years more different. He could have changed a hell of a lot, but you just haven't seen it yet.
But the most important thing is your child. Do you not think that breaking up with his father will be a bot tough on him at such a tender age.
There are alot of things you should take into account before making such a huge decission, but as long as you think long and hard about it and are completely sure your making the right choice, then I say good luck to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Think what YOU want to do and do that. You don't seem to mention your son much.
Good luck
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