A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my gf has recently completely broken my trust in her and its the second time she has damaged our relationship. the first was she was catching up with an ex boyfriend and lied to me about it and i later found out and second she was having an online relationship with another man and sending half nude photos to him and telling him she loved him and he her. is it ok for me to ask that she no longer contacts her ex boyfriends as she has been doing so since this occured or is it even ok to ask her to change her number because she says she feels rude if she doesnt reply to peoples texts even if they are clearly only interested in one thing so i figure if they dont know her new number they would not be able to contact her
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male
reader, Philips  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 She clearly wants to do keep contacts with her ex. Whatever you do she will find a way out. Dump her for good.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 What chigirl said!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 You can't put up a shield around her and force her to be faithful to you when she clearly doesn't want to.
It saves you a lot of trouble to just instead find a girl who actually has the same values as you and is faithful because she genuinely desires to be faithful. If you try to force your girlfriend to be faithful to you, well, you wont ever know if it is genuine or not. She could be desiring other men the entire time, even if you prevent her from acting upon it, her thoughts will be with other men. Her lying and deceiving isn't going to be related only to faithfulness either, she'll probably lie about other things too, because she doesn't feel the need, or have a natural instinct, to be honest with you. Which means you'll have to check up on her all the time, check up on her actions all the time, track her down online, block numbers, get a her new phone-number, install parental control on her computer so you can see everything she does online, supervise her new phone number (you betcha she'll hand out her new number to horny perverts as well, why wouldn't she).
You'll have to be on top of her 24/7. Is that a relationship? Will that make you happy? Is that the ideal situation?
Or wouldn't you rather DUMP the cheater, and find yourself a nice girl who values YOU, makes sure you know you are loved and the only one for her, has high values and is against cheating, is faithful by nature and devoted to your relationship and making you happy, takes care of you and is nice to you?
Your girlfriend broke your trust, and with her pattern of deceiving you, I don't see why you should trust her again, and I don't think you can trust her again, nor do I think she deserves your trust either. So instead of working your ass off, wrecking your nerves and losing sleep over this, and worrying about it, just DROP it. She is a problem in your life. Drop it. Get rid of it. Then you can sleep soundly at night knowing your life is free from such problems. Let her do what she feels like doing, which she has shown you, and walk away... just walk away.
There are better women out there!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 November 2011):
 you can ask her but to be honest if she wants to do it she will continue to do it and she will lie to you...
this exact issue was one of the reasons my marriage broke up
I told him not to contact his online girls, he said he would not and he continued and just lied to me about it.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Normanally people who have online no strings attached relationships have more than one so i would keep that in mind.
Also she could of giving her number to people online and be sending them nude pics from her phone.
I would tell her to change her number and that you are sick of her ruining your relationship.
Tell her if this is going to work she has to be honest with you and cut out all this cyber stuff tell her you don't want her flirting with anyone online or sending pictures. Tell her if she continues to cheat then its over between you and her.
Ask her to change her number and get rid of any men who freqeuntly chat her up.
You saying that this is the final straw should be enough to get her to reflect on her actions however if she continues i'd seriously think about where your relationship is going.
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