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She created a fake profile to talk with him after telling me she'd deleted him...

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2012)
A male Australia age 36-40, *ay2012 writes:

true issues. please help

she made a fake profile on Facebook to talk to a guy behind my back, what should i do?

Long story short, we had some trust issues because of this guy, she said she would block and delete him, she did that, then recently maybe a month ago she created the fake account to speak to him again, she says she only wants to speak to him in regards to 'truth', or 'research', kind of like 'studying' for alternative media.

Anyway i just dont buy it, if she valued our relationship like she did at the start when she blocked and deleted him, then i would not care, obviously by going behind my back to chat up some guy has resulted back to sqaure one. does re connecting with this person obviously prove she has something for him? or am i thinking way too much into this. I mean, creating fake profiles and going behind my back to talk to him, is that normal? NEVER in my life have i done a thing like this, especially in a relationship. any advice would be great.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

No it's not normal nor is it okay for her to have done that. She betrayed your trust and disrespected your relationship in my opinion. Even if she did just want to talk to him about "truth" or "research" she still went behind your back to do that, after you two had explicitly discussed that she would no long communicate with this man and she did it anyway.

I wouldn't trust her. In my eyes she does have a thing for this guy, because its obviously very important to her to continue talking to him, even if it does put her relationship with you in jeapordy.

Dump her and move on. Find someone who will appreciate you and love you like they love you. That's the kind of love you deserve.

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A male reader, ulick Italy +, writes (28 October 2012):

ulick agony auntDump her. I had same issue with my ex that flirted and cheated once with a guy. I forgave her with the clear understanding that she will not talk or anything with this buy but cought her about a year later chatting online with him. Well we had a fight and she made all sort of dum excuses. A year later after this she cheated on me again with another guy.

Moral? I should have not trusted her after the first timee

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2012):

This has the word 'dump' written all over it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntdoes not matter why she did it to be honest.

what matters is that she did it.

that she lied

that you clearly are not her best friend that she knows she's doing something wrong and instead of discussing what she needs/wants with you she would rather lie to you... and hence cheat you....

she's emotionally cheating..

I think emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating...

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2012):

bronzed adonis agony auntThese sort of discoveries cause relationships to go rapidly downhill. I would cut my losses and call it a day. It doesnt appear there is a lot on offer if it`s a real relationship you want out of it.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (28 October 2012):

kenny agony auntNo her behaviour is not normal and you have every right to be angry and upset by this. She has totally gone behind your back creating a fake profile to talk to this guy, so she is talking to him over the computer, are things going to materialise further and her meet up with him?.

There are many factors that hold a relationship together, and one of the most important one's is trust. A relationship without trust is like building a house without laying the foundations, sooner or later its going to fall down. She has seriously betrayed your trust, sure you could forgive her and she could tell you she will never do this again. But there will always be that element of doubt as to what she's upto, who's she talking to, is she upto no good again. This is no life and will end up driving you mad, personally i would move on and find someone who is more trustworthy and you can rely on.

Good luck

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (28 October 2012):

Abella agony auntYou cannot trust her word.

She is weak.

You will always face more trouble from a weak person as you cannot rely on them and they will not honour their word. They agree to things too readily. They are often too scared to tell the truth. Their promises mean zilch.

A strong person has their own challenges.

They will stand up for what they believe in.

They will honour their promises

And if they say they will support you then they mean it.

And yes they will sometimes disagree with you but at least they speak the truth.

You can rely on their promises which are set in stone.

She has done you a huge favour,

She made a promise and did not mean what she said.

She is selfish.

Is this the sort of woman you would want to bring up yoru children to have Values that you respect?

Sadly she is not on the same page as you.

Now that you know how unreliable she truly is you can walk away without any regrets.

You know you deserve better than this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012):

I would dump her. She is up to no good behind your back and she is now officially a liar too. A relationship cannot survive without trust. She is not worthy of trust so move on.

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