A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so, I've been talking to this guy now for over three months and we've both admitting we've got feelings. We've were together for about a year, 2 years ago but that's a bit irrelevant now as we were very young and tend not to talk about it. Since we've been talking this time around we've been to each others houses etc and stuff's happened but now the only thing left to happen is sex, and it'll be my first time. He knows this and is very gentlemanly about it and he said he'll wait until I'm ready, and the balls in my court etc. The thing is, I know im 'ready' to do it- it's just I've always said I want to have sex with someone if I know the relationship is going somewhere. He speaks about us being together in the future and stuff but in the present I want to know 'what we are'. I do try to kinda bring this up and he always just says 'ohh it's too late for this ' and kinda jokes that I'm trying to bring it up. 'I do really really like him, and I've never felt like this before so I'm scared that'll I just be left feeling a bit of a mug. Sidenote Question: how do I tell my parents about us?? Because I want to see him more, and not have to do it behind my parents back but we're not very close and I just don't know how to approach this subject with them. I just needed some advice, and maybe other people's thoughts on this situation thankyou in advance x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (17 March 2015):
 The first thing that I think is important is you have to be sure that this person is the right person, because the majority of people end up regretting their first time because they wish they had waited. You are essentially committing to a memory, this is one thing you will never forget and you have to consider if when you look back if this memory will make you smile or make you cringe?
I am also going to just be honest with you, sex for the first time as a girl is not the greatest thing. It can be pretty painful and more than that, it’s painfully awkward. You have to be sure that he is someone that will be respectful. Talking from experience, when it’s with someone you care about it will make it a lot better and a lot easier. As for knowing if he is the right guy, I would recommend having an upfront conversation in person just reinforcing that you want to wait, and if he is happy for that and shows that then you will know that he is a good guy. Waiting only brings benefits, while it might be frustrating, rushing into is when you could get hurt.
Also, talking to your parents about this can be the worst thing, I know it can seem impossible but going behind their back will only make things worse. First, I would gently bring up in conversation that you are seeing someone and that you have been seeing them for a while, this way you are just dipping your toe in the water to see how they react. After that, you have to judge what you feel is best as no doubt they will want to meet him, even if it’s just for dinner. If this easier, you could maybe try talking to your mum first rather than both at the same time. You just have to be honest with them, the more you are honest the more they will trust you.
Let me know how you get on!
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